What's the difference between an invisible loner & a visible one? One's visible, one's not! Haha...ok, don't intend to be corny.
Was reflecting on 'being a loner' (applying to myself), and to me, there are 2 types of loners - visible & invisible. It's all about conformity, or rather non-conformity. Well, there are of course those people who just clump together, who cannot be alone and need company. They are afraid to be alone and always stick to someone or a group, fitting in/conforming. The loner, on the other hand, will probably not feel so dependent. Working alone is just part of life and great for ideas & reflection.
Forgive me, I digress.
The visible loner stands out in a group and is probably a leader. He/she operates on a different (loftier) plane, probably domineering and charismatic....think you know the kind. Highly visible and though he/she is outstanding, works alone and can only work alone...others can't keep up. We always hear the phrase "lonely at the top" right?
The invisible loner, on the other hand, fades off in the background. He/she often feels left out or out-of-place and is usually neglected or forgotten. No one listens when he/she speaks or at least is "overpowered" by others in a group when he/she starts to talk about something. Often, his/her "air-time" gets diverted to something else as people cut in. It seems that he/she can never fit in. These people tend to withdraw from others and just prefers to do things or be alone. It becomes a part of life, so they don't bother to fit in. It sort of doesn't matter anymore. Probably, he/she will crave solitude rather than face people who will simply "ignore" you. Why not spend time alone rather than feel frustrated?
Well, guess you might know where I place myself with the lengthy description. I'm the invisible kind. It's not so bad as it looks like I'm not a conformist and am independent. ;P I enjoy solitudes where I can reflect and be at peace and maybe get creative. Probably God has a mission for me in this vast world where I don't have to fit in or be too accommodative.
9 years ago
Sometimes being a loner can be so lonely.
ReplyDeleteI think it's good to have time for oneself to be at peace and find beauty in the quiet, but maybe I feel too desolate when I am alone for too long periods of time.
Anyway man is by nature, a community being. Maybe that's why the saying, no man is an island. Hmmm. Too heavy reflections on an early morning.
Yes, I agree it gets lonely sometimes.
ReplyDeleteBut as a loner, to me, although sometimes you put yourself in a "community" (group), even if initially you don't feel it, but it seems that eventually you will feel lonely in that community.
I find that even scarier. Imagine feeling lonely (or simply out of place?) when you're in a group. So alien.
Yup, we are community beings, but we are also unique (so conflicting!) Hmm...maybe we are like those strange little islands that becomes part of the mainland at low tide, but islands at high tide. (Do these things have a name?)
hmmm. not sure if they have a name or what they are called. Worse.. can you imagine at some high tides, these that become mounds may get flooded and cease to exist for that moment. Maybe that is how it feels like, lonely in a crowd. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteYes, "drowning" in a crowd...crowded out.
ReplyDeleteWas walking to the MRT from my office and in view of all this talk of being a "loner", a sudden inspiration came on me to write a song called "A Loner in a Crowd". So far, only got 2 lines:
ReplyDelete"Every day you see people passing by.
Every day people pass you by..."
Hope one day I'll finish it soon.
:)
ReplyDelete