Seeking common vision: Love & calling

Well, my friends would know I've been single. However, I do hope to find the special someone someday (soon I hope). So I've been thinking about what kind of guy I would like. It's not a new topic and of course I have some "criteria" so to speak, but this post is not about listing my criteria. I'm thinking more of our future posting in the ministry of God.

These 2-3 years, God has revealed to me many things, and most importantly, I believe He has shown me my calling which is in line with the vision of my church.

So now it becomes a bit tricky. A few years ago, it might not have been an issue for me to leave my church if I found someone outside my church. However, since given this direction, my concern would be if my future partner will be willing to share this vision with me and to also serve alongside me, albeit in another way but in accordance with my church's direction...in short, I can't imagine leaving my church now and would he be willing to transfer to my church (if he is not from my church). It sounds selfish and I understand this could be a potential source of contention and some couples have taken the way of joining a brand new church altogether.

Sidetrack a bit, I now see a purpose and am glad that nothing came out of my feelings for a guy some years ago. His was a family church, so likely he won't leave his church and we do seem to share different values in terms of relationships, i.e. same faith. In any case, he is happily married and I wish him all the best. Thankfully, I'm over it and many other things have happened since (not in love matters) that I'm thankful of.

Looking back now, I realised that if not for what happened (it was not meant to be), I would not have had the journey I had that led to discovering this calling of mine.

So my difficulty now is finding the right man in the current scenario.  While I've yet to enter my calling, I would be in maybe a few years time. My dream is that we will build a Godly family and serve together in ministry as a family.

Dreams?

Recently, I was sharing with a friend/colleague about my potential transfer. It's not confirmed yet, pending HR/senior mgt approval, but both divisions are agreeable.

My friend said I finally got my dream job. As I thought about it, my heart told me that that may not be true. Well, maybe if this offer came some years ago, I might have thought so. But then again, I did have a dream job over 2 years ago before I became manager.

As I thought further, I recalled that ultimately, my dream was to eventually serve in the worship team one day. My heart is also for arts education that can be related to my Christian values.

One never knows what God plans for us, but he leads the way and reveals to us the desires of our hearts as we grow.

Not feeling, not caring

It's been about a month since I submitted my 'resume for the future'.
I don't know if it's really myself leaving things in God's hands or I have reached the stage of resignation. I wouldn't say I'm still in the handover mood (but I wished I could really hand over), but I'm just doing stuff that is more like clearing things up in prep of what may come; completing legacy projects.

I think it's really scary to say that I don't care anymore. I feel guilty about it as I shouldn't be, at least for the sake of my staff. No, I wouldn't say I no longer have a passion for the arts or belief in the place I work, but I'm more like ”heck care all these corporate woes” and ”what's the point of it all”? Maybe I don't know how to manage people. Maybe I'm just tired. Today I had another session with staff about workplan. Taking in their comments, this time round I actually didn't feel anything. Am I numb? Previously I often took it to heart the things they say and concerned if I'm doing the things right for them and trying to seeing their perspective. And I get upset when it seems like we're not getting anywhere and that I've let them down. Today, I just didn't feel anything. Maybe I don't care anymore? I'm also afraid that I'm mistrusting them. Maybe I'm being paranoid but I wonder if they've been talking about me behind my back or have been avoiding me except for work.

Maybe I've let go and the step I took was really my step of faith in leaving it in God's hands and that's where I get my peace from, to just continue doing things till God calls. Really, I started not bothering when I submitted my resume. I've been looking out for open doors within the organisation but I've also drafted my exit letter if God is calling me outside (it's just missing the date). Honestly, I'm just going about doing the necessary and to complete 2 major projects that should end in July. Maybe that is when God will call me to move.

About openings in the organisation. I have not come across something that speaks to me, i.e. God saying 'take this'. In my past moves, it seemed very clear and inevitable. I also feel unqualified for some of the interesting ones. However, I just heard some news that maybe I can consider but it isn't really something that I had wanted to go into as it's not developing me in the field I want to. But it is something I think I can do ok in, something administrative. I also don't want to use it as the chance to escape but leave soon after which isn't responsible. I wish for a clearer sign or hint from God so that I may know the step to take. I feel that I might have missed some opportunities earlier but at that point, I felt the need to finish up some legacy projects and complete my 2-year term. I hope I got that right. Come to think of it, the following week will be the fulfillment of my 2 years in this current position. I hope that it is also the drawing closer of the end of 1 phase and the start to a fresh beginning. Maybe something will happen then?

Missing Out

It's been almost 2 years and I feel drained and burnt out. Maybe it's poor time management, maybe it's just loss of passion or simply age, but I've never felt so tired.

Ever since I took on a managerial role, I feel I've lost many things and while I took it on as a learning experience, I guess I'm not really cut out for it to lead in this manner and my strongest desire is to relinquish my position and to return to developing myself professionally as a librarian. I won't say I'm giving up or don't care anymore (oh well, maybe a little), but I feel I have done what I can do for the department and it is time for me to move on. Inevitably, I had to ask myself - why did I join the organisation in the first place? Because I wanted to be a librarian. I never hankered for a managerial position as I am not the ambitious sort, and my concept of progression is to learn new things in my role as a librarian and progress in that direction.

My current position has more or less killed what little creativity I had with all the administration and operational woes that comes with it. I have less bandwidth to think outside. What I miss doing:

- solitude time to reflect, especially with God
- reading
- dabbling in music
- watching performances
- watching movies
- meeting up with friends
- writing/blogging
- sleeping
- exercising (ok, this is not really true, but I do wished I could do more of this)
- thinking
- shopping

I'm taking each day at a time.

What is my purpose now in the organization?

Anyway, I've been looking for an open door which will lead me out of this situation. I believe I have served my time and need to move on before I "kill" myself with this unhappiness. I believe I have a calling elsewhere eventually so what's the next step? While I am first looking within the organisation, if God calls me elsewhere, I will not hesitate to go. Actually, when such things happen, it is usually an indication from God that it's time to move. He wouldn't ruffle things up like this. Of course, before I move on, I would like to complete a project that I have on hand which should end when I reach my 2-year term as a manager.

Actually I foresee a future possibility where I could serve God. This is a place outside my current organisation but the place does not exist yet. Hence I believe that there might be a place within the organisation I would need to go to first before going to this new place.

The future place I'm talking about is a place which is a dream of our SP that he shared last year and it struck a chord in my heart. It made me ponder if that was really why God has brought me through the various places so far. I had shared this with my cell leader and unexpectedly, she acted upon it for me. One thing led to another and I just did something that I'm actually quite nervous about because after that, I recalled that God has the tendency to suddenly uproot me and put me in a new place before I know it, as in my previous 2 career moves. If it is God's will, I will follow, but I'm really nervous as I consider the things I will need to give up and explain to my parents. However, this Sunday, I suddenly don't have the restlessness I've been feeling in the past few weeks. Over the weeks, I had been very contemplative and had been having the strong urge and sensing that God is bringing me somewhere and the calling He has for me. This feeling was the strongest during service like a voice calling from my soul. But this week, I don't feel it anymore especially after what I've done...is it a sign that I've done the right thing and am finding peace, leaving it with God's hands?

Strangely, I am in a handover mood these days, doing things with a view that I won't be where I am in a few months time even though there is no firm knowledge of where I'll be then. I've never felt this even in the days when I moved earlier. Is it something in me that is preparing me for the unseen future? Whether it is in the current organisation or not, I realise that with the amount of leave I've accumulated, I don't even need to serve any notice if I were to leave and can leave immediately.

2014 thoughts and reflections

Another year has passed and it seemed to have gone by in a flash. Somehow, I am prompted to take measure of the happenings and many thoughts just came to mind.

It has been a whirlwind year and I feel that it was really crazy. Has life become so fast-paced that we can't take a breather? Has the hours shortened or more things are expected as the world advances? In any case, I shall start with a happier mention.

I graduated this year with my new Masters in Arts and Cultural Management. Now thinking back, I wondered how I survived all the evening classes, readings and assignments in the past 1.5 years. I doubt I'll take another degree again, having received a Bachelor and 2 Masters. I must be getting old as it was physically very tiring as compared to my other masters 10 years ago. I was working too then and had to travel to NTU some more. This time, it was in town near my workplace but it felt more tiring. Anyway, I took this 2nd masters for interest and I learned a lot more about the industry. Not that I enjoy studying coz I'm a very lazy person. But I made some good friends along the way, and hope we'll still keep in touch.

I guess the more eventful part of the year would be that I took on a new role at work the day I handed in my thesis. Strange really that it all seemed like such perfect timing. The new role was challenging and I took a few months to settle in it, and am still learning. I took it on out of belief in what our division head had discussed, though the official implementation of the new scope for my role is still pending. I also did it out of passion for where I worked and really hope I can do something for it and the team.
Right now, I'm busier than ever and this year seemed even more than last year at my workplace. It's not really because I took on more duties since I did cover a bit here and there, but there have been more demands, even deadlines till the last day of the year. It's not just me feeling it. However, these past couple of weeks, it dawned on me that I have taken a big risk in that I might not be able to continue my professional track after this and totally forgo what my passion is in. I was also thinking to myself recently and am beginning to have doubts on my career progression (somehow I begin to feel the competition). I never used to think so much about it and hope to prove myself, partially also worrying if I'm a good boss to my staff. Fortunately, though I am still trying to let the thought set in, I was reminded that where I was was where God had put me. And whatever it is, if I have served my purpose and it was time for me to go, I will have to go.  What matters now is that I do my best, not just for myself, but in consideration of others. What I do now will have impact on the team and I really want to make it work, even if difficulties abound. I understand I may not stay here forever and need to groom others too in the event that I move on. Not that I am worried that my staff will overtake me. In fact, I hope to help them plan their progression. Who knows if I will stay on in the organisation in a few years time (not that I have plans to leave) as God may lead me elsewhere.
The only problem I have is my communication skills. I really have poor presentation skills (I get too nervous and am too honest...haha not good at packaging) and can't really deal with customers well especial in dealing with complaints and saying no. These might be my stumbling block.

Being a Sunday School Teacher

How privileged we are that GOD has entrusted these precious little lives into our hands!
Hope we don't get too caught up in the carrying out of the duties and forget this.

Crying time

I believe once in a while, you need some "crying time". Whether you're stressed at work, stressed at school, having a personal debate or struggle with yourself, or simply the erm...pms, you need to take some time to let it out.

It may not come easy, especially if did not even realise that you needed it or have bottled up things for some time, but you can just trigger it by watching a moving movie or TV show, listening to music or just finding some solitude.

Yup, that's it, you need some solitude to just relax and clear your mind and spirit.

Short reflections on my birthday

Just thought I'll do some reflecting on my birthday.

I feel that it has been a long 1 year since my last birthday, with a new job scope since then and studies this year....has it really been only one year? Many major things have happened at work with its dynamism and new responsibilities. Studies-wise has been draining but fruitful, especially last semester. Hee....this semester a bit slack...must catch up soon!

Well, for today, I totally slacked it off. No going out or partying, just stayed home and did nothing literally, just sleeping (a lot), watched some videos and played candy crush and jewel mania. Only celebration was meeting friends for dinner. I shall leave my assignments till tomorrow!

Must be getting old, or I've been overworking, but even a day of doing nothing seems to make one feel good, except I think I slept too much, so having a bit of stiff neck. Haha!

Missing one like ages

Was just reflecting about having missed service last week and I find that whenever I have to miss service, whether because of travelling, work or some other thing, I find that I feel like I have been away a long time, even though I had only missed 1 session (well, technically 2 weeks away from the community). I guess it might be a good thing since it would mean that it's making a difference.

However, it might also lead to the effect of drawing you into a state of laziness if you're not careful, where you might develop a tendency of not attending church if you do not go in the subsequent week of the break. It is a trick of the devil and we must not forget the importance of attending church (not as a routine or ritual only) as Christians live in a community and there is a need for edification and instruction. Do not for one thing think that you can just study the bible on your own, but you need some revelation and affirmation, lest you tread the wrong path.

Well, what do you think?

New Beginnings

It's the start of 2013.
While last year felt like the end of the world with the shaking up of a few areas in my life (hmm...coincidentally it was the Mayan end-of-the-world year, which obviously didn't happen), this year marks a new beginning (I hope) as I step into the unknown of a myriad of activities that will be taking up a lot of my time. Well, not really "unknown" but uncertainty, of whether I can handle the situations.

First up would of course be my studies, which starts tomorrow. I'm not the studying sort and why I'm taking a second masters is crazy, but by faith I take it on, despite having lost some steam since I first considered it. Hope my interest will be piqued once again when classes start. It's also a new life as I become a student again, after almost 10 years since my last degree. At least it's more convenient now since my school is in town and not all the way at NTU like before, where I had to rush down after work too.

Secondly, with my transfer in September, work life has been more dynamic than before. I also foresee more responsibilities that will be thrown upon me and as a result, to rise up (or if a fail, plunge down). I already see one project at the door, as it seems imminent that it'll be passed on to me as the current IC is leaving, unless her bosses decide against it. I'm also supporting my manager as we both try to manage the going-ons at work where things crop up to be settled every other day. Quite a few major events are also happening this year, so hope we can manage. I don't know if I can cope with all these work stuff along with my studies. Everything seems to be happening this year. Stressed.

With all these happenings, I'm also concerned if I can work on our theatre blog. Not just finding time to watch shows, but also to write the reviews. I guess I would need to rely more on my co-writer for a lot of the reviews this year.


Well, the year has just started, so I don't know what else there's in store. Keeping fingers crossed that I would pull through the year in one piece.

It's no fun telling me

A friend of mine recently commented that it's no fun telling me "breaking news" or gossip. We were having a group dinner and she did a drum roll kind of announcement of some rumour she heard. And as per my usual "cool" and collected look, I didn't respond as expected, i.e. surprised. She then asked me if I had already heard of the rumour, which I had not. So she exclaimed that it's no fun telling me these things as I always don't look surprised. Nevertheless, the kaypoh me still likes to hear all these. Haha! Maybe I should try to act surprised next time.

Anyway, it's not the first time something similar has been said to me by other people. There could be a few reasons.

1) slow reaction - I can be quite 慢半拍 at times.
2) it takes a lot to surprise me? or maybe the news has to be something that pushes a certain button in me.
3) and maybe, as you can tell by now, I analyse a lot, so maybe I respond in my mind to find plausible reasons for the piece of news first, and not respond with emotions, hence missing that momentary surprise factor.

Anyway, on another topic, wishy washiness by friends can be quite detrimental to the relationship at times. With all good intentions, they might think they're being kind or are avoiding facing the problem, or even worse, trying to have everything. It might be unconscious or they think they're doing the right thing or being "noble" (for want of a better word) . However, some things not addressed early will snowball into something much bigger that leads to frustration of the relationship and misunderstandings. Heard friends' stories and maybe my own. At times, you reach the point of not wanting to talk about it not because you don't care or take the blame upon yourself, but that you kind of have given up and become jaded, because somehow you feel that the other person will never realise their part in the whole affair or see your point of view.

Still waters

I'm like the deep ocean, where the surface may look still, but deep below, the undercurrent is strong            

Mid-year review

I didn't make many resolutions this year coz well, I guess I wasn't in much of a mood. But I am glad to say that I've completed 50% of it (though it's quite a cheating resolution) :P

Half a year just flew by and it's been quite a challenging year for me in all aspects of my life - physically, emotionally, professionally and spiritually...and I believe some of these have become interlinked. It's like a battle to survive. What would have happened if I were not a believer?

I shan't or can't go into the details here, but so be it. I've discovered I do not dare to do certain things now or am not motivated to do them; sometimes it's just a matter of doing something for its on sake, or maybe to push or keep myself occupied.

I don't know how the year will end for me, or if I will find new direction. But things around just move on don't they? Regardless.

What is Life?

A friend complained to me that she has "no life" these days because she has been so busy at work that it's basically work-home-work-home-work... for her, sometimes working late into the night in office. And she even works some more when she reaches home. It's partly because she's taken on a new managerial role and there's just so many things she needs to handle. Am happy for her that her wait to be recognised has finally come through, having eked it out for so many years in the organisation. However, I'm also worried that she might get burned out. I wished I could help her out, but all I can give is moral support. Hope she gets a good aide soon when the coming re-org takes effect. Also, I pray she gets her promotion soon, and with it a significant pay rise as she had reached the cap for her level for a few years already. Hopefully that happens this July.

Anyway, my purpose of this post was to ponder what do we mean by "life" then? Is it the activities we do, which in this case, seems to be life outside of work. But if your passion is your work, doesn't it make it "life"? How wonderful if one can do what you're passionate about at work. But sometimes, it might kill your passion though. Whatever. I think I'm contradicting myself.

Or really, is it about what's inside of you? You can have all the activities in the world to occupy you, but if you're "dead" inside, whatever you do is not going to bring you to "life" isn't it? Just a shell that's forever searching.

Calm in the Eye of the Storm

Storm. The tumultuous emotions that comes with hope, confusion, desperation, pain, fear etc. that leads one to make certain decisions just to want to nullify it.

Eye. The sudden resolution and numbness, maybe even feyness, of which one feels an unreal calm to carry out that decision. Dazed.

Return of the storm. The aftermath of the fateful deed when the reality of the consequences sets in; when confusion, despair and fear returns, of whether you have done the right thing or will regret it, of whether you will fully recover and heal. Of whether you will pull through. Flashbacks of the past plague you and all your thoughts are in a mire.

If everything follows this sequence, does it mean the sunshine will really come after? One will never know unless you survive.

Photographing Hong Kong

Wow, it seems it has been a long time since I posted something about "me" here.
Guess I've been busy reviewing stuff (which I'm still doing and clearing) and work has been busy. Well, so here I am, back again, talking about myself...that's what a personal blog is about isn't it?

Anyway, ever since I came back from Hong Kong, I've been compelled to want to do some street photography (i.e. taking photos of the streets or city). More specifically, I have this compulsion to go back to Hong Kong on my own, to photograph the street scenes, billboards, etc. On those last days, I felt I didn't really see enough of Hong Kong and its sights. I didn't even visit the Arts Fest even though it was ongoing then. The whole trip was just eating and shopping, and well, maybe a little bit of nature on Lama Island. In fact, I didn't do that too on the other trip last Oct (which was pretty short). What have I actually seen of Hong Kong? Maybe I was too caught up in moving from place to place to actually just wander the streets leisurely. That's why, I thought of going on my own, or at the most, with 1 other friend.
Actually, I think I developed this feeling on the last few days of the trip. Maybe it was when I had the opportunity to take a "stroll" on my own from H&M to Peninsula Hotel. Short distance as it may be, but I was suddenly alone, at my own pace, and I took time to stop by the Hullett House area (some kind of heritage area). Maybe it was also the tram bus ride. In any case, I might just do that, going back to Hong Kong one of these days just to "experience" it in another way.

This kind of brings me back to when I actually walked around the city taking photos. Actually, only the City Hall area lah. It gave a different kind of feel to life really. At that point, I was in the mood for photography. I'm not a pro (only going around with an automatic) but there was some sort of satisfaction or just carefree feel, even if it was just for half a day, once in a while.

I must say I'm a girl of many interests, and they take priority at different times. Ah well, it's time I got down to finishing up my short play. Did the 1st draft and gotten some feedback, so will need to go revise it. I don't know what I'm going to do with the script eventually, but just see how things goes.

2010 year in review

Well, it's that time of the year to review what we've done and yes, if we fulfilled our resolutions. Honestly, this year flew by super fast and worse than last year, my resolutions failed...big time! I've only achieved 5.5 out of 18 resolutions (too ambitious!). What's more, they included more frivolous things like getting my first manicure and wearing more skirts/dresses (don't laugh!).
Fortunately, I managed to repair my violin and take guitar lessons as hoped for. But I didn't write a single song this year! And never wrote my drama in full. Looks like I have to carry forward some of the things and be less ambitious.

But I must say, it's been a rather eventful year for me. One major event that impacted me most would have to be in the aspect of my career. The re-org has totally changed my job scope. Although apprehensive initially with the new department, I really thank God for it. I had been looking for some changes as I'd reached the restless stage in my previous job scope. And it was a great "escape" for me as I'm relieved at not needing to do the things I used to do if I were still in my old department, especially when my pet projects had been taken away from our division due to the re-org. Not that the old stuff were bad, but I've done it for too long that I'm no longer motivated or learning new things. But in this new area, I've learnt a lot of new things and had even had the chance to gain knowledge on the Singapore music scene. Still learning, but I do hope I get to fit in eventually.
Another area related to my work is that I finally got to try out being on reference counter as a "CCA" for my professional development. Well, still learning, but will see how I'll fare as time goes by.

Another major deed I did was the addition of my Christian name into my IC. This was a step of faith and commitment.

I've taken a few trips (again) this year, so talk about breaks. Went to Fukuoka, Vancouver and Shanghai/Hongkong. However, it didn't really feel I've been away much (except maybe Vancouver) due to how work has been with all the happenings in the department and the year kind of just flew by.

  

In terms of ministry, I know I said I wanted to volunteer in church as one of my resolutions, but somehow, it has not been very successful. I've been having some doubts lately because of all the timing issues. Maybe it's some sign or maybe I've been having too many things on my plate this year? I submitted my name earlier this year but that didn't work out. And I tried to volunteer again for children ministry worship, but I missed the "open house" as I was away, so am waiting for the next opportunity for that...and needs audition. Not sure if it's because my church is so huge that they have no lack of people?
But anyway, I volunteered to facilitate cellgroup for our 40 Days of Faith program, or at least part of it. It was great as we saw many visitors.
Another thing I did was sign up for a worship songwriting workshop with Bob Fitts. It was an enriching experience.

In pursuing the arts, I took some musical theatre classes with my friend, although both of us "dropped out" near the end. It was something to learn some of the going-ons in making a musical, the songs, the singing, the dancing, the history, the set up, etc, if we were ever to write our own musical. And talking about productions, I think I've caught a fair amount of concerts and productions this year as compared to before. Haha...probably to compensate for the lack of movies this years as well, although the price difference is huge. :P

Anyway, like I said, I didn't really get to write creatively, either musically or dramatically(?), except maybe for some half-storylines/concepts. However, in another aspect of writing, I've started not one, but two blogs with my friends. One for theatre, another on food. And I might be looking at setting up one more, on my own, depending on the prompting I get. Wow, I realise it requires a lot of discipline but it's exciting, especially when you check out the stats! Ha! A friend joked I was becoming a "slave" to my food blog. I hope not!

Songcraft was meant to attempt new directions, but I must say, I guess it didn't work out and everyone got busy and thus, it's more or less dormant. Well, we might have some annual event to bring back memories, but who knows? Anyway, the core group is kind of still sticking together. How ironic it was when we so violently reacted to the news of the "end of Songcraft" joke but now we're so cool about it. It was a great journey nonetheless and a lot of us were motivated to keep writing because of the group. I enjoyed the safe dynamics we shared as we came together to share our own music in the most honest and raw form. Sweet memories.
On another level, I discovered this Christian arts group CreateLeVoyage (CLV) in the course of my work and have recently attended 2 sessions. They have their meets once a month, and some of these are arts professionals like poets, painters, etc. Of course, some don't do it full time, but they are at 'that' level. From what I've know, they do different things in each session, which can range from Bible study to art criticism. Wonder if I can fully assimilate into the group eventually. It feels like I have another cellgroup, but with common interests. Ha!
Also, I began to wonder at how amazing that this must be God's plan. If He hadn't moved me to the new department, I wouldn't have discovered this group! He always does these things. Just as how He brought me into my org which has really broadened my horizons and allowed me to meet new friends and pursue my passion for the arts. I love it how He moves. His timing is always perfect. And I just re-read this which I posted in early Feb, before the re-org and all:

"You know something, I have been having this feeling that my lost opportunity to transfer out of my dept has something to do with the plans and happenings coming this year. I can't put my finger to it, but there's something there."

Although I've forgotten the details of all that, but it's amazing isn't it? C'est La Vie!
And I believe this is the word the Lord has given me for the year.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, 

"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

~ Jeremiah 29:11 

Talking about Jeremiah, I believed I've more or less managed to cover most of Jeremiah, despite it being quite "depressing". So that's considered partial fulfillment of 1 of my resolutions I guess. Wonder what book next?

My new team

As the year comes to a close, and my life with my new department has more or less gotten on track (although I've yet to shift my workstation to sit with the group), I managed to experience a different kind of group dynamics.

Well, I attended my first proper staff meeting with my department last week and it felt so different from my previous department. It was less formal, and we could crack jokes, etc. Not that my previous department was super serious, but that was really a very "functional" or "operational" kind of meeting and the dynamics was really different. This one, I was more relaxed...I guess the group got along better. There's a kind of 默契.

Am I glad that I was moved here. Still a lot of things to learn (that's the stressed part), but it's nice to have some teamwork here and talk some commonalities. Not that previously there's none, but each person's work was very different from the next then.

Christmas season, random thoughts

As I try to catch up on my Christmas card writings and gifts preparation, a sudden thought came to mind - I wondered which of my friends would recognise my handwriting. With technology being so dominant now and handwritten notes to friends lesser, I can't help but ponder this. I normally only write cards for closer friends (my messages are usually "long"...I'm not the kind to just write "Merry Christmas", which is pointless) and I must admit, I too have slacked in recent years.
So I tweeted this "just wondering...with so much technology around, how many of my friends actually recognise my handwriting?" and am glad to find 1 friend whom I've not met up for a while replying that she does! Can't help but recall the heydays when we used to hang out together in secondary school days. :)

Another thought also came up in my mind...I wonder how many of us, when upon receiving Christmas gifts would either
1) open the gift straightaway or within a few days, or
2) wait till Christmas to do so.

Well, I don't know how I came to adopt this, but I usually wait till Christmas to open them, even though I'm "dying" to know what's in the package (if they're wrapped). Probably it feels more exciting.

not so "important" anymore

I've been quite busy lately, trying to clear as much work as possible before my holiday, my holiday, then now back to work and trying to find time to sort out the souvenirs/goodies and photos, that I've not really had time to blog. Passed over a theatre review on my other blog (which I'd left to my review counterpart to do here) since I was flying off the next day. But as it is, here I am.

Anyway, the point of this post was the settling in of the fact of my current position of "importance" (or lack of it) at work as made the more apparent by my recent trip. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing, but with my new portfolio/job scope after my "transfer" to a different department within the division, I am a tad more carefree now. No longer am I the (only) one handling the system issues or development of this particular web service I was in charge of, since I have "handed" it over to someone else. Am not sure if I've done a proper job in doing so, but since I'm still around, they can ask me. But anyway, it's like a big load off my shoulder in a way coz no one could really cover me last time in my department. And this aspect of my job scope was actually hindering my 'professional' development. I was feeling more and more like a technical rep (although I was just being the user rep for the department). Of course, I settled whatever phase of development as was ongoing under my care, which has now been completed, so I can safely do a clean "cut off" from it now. Anyway, the system has been operational for a while, though I was constantly pushing and following on the enhancements as required. If I had not been transferred, I think some of the digital projects would have been passed to me. *Phew*
But then again, since I can get out now, maybe I was not so important after all.
Well, I'm still in the midst of handing over another project, but that isn't so bad because it's not so technical and just more like handing over management of the project/collection.

In my new job scope, it's a breath of new freedom as I now have people who can actually cover my work. And I don't have staff under me anymore. This could be a bad thing since it means I'm more dispensable now. Also, I'm totally new to this work and it was not my choice to be transferred there, although I have learned much since, and I have more contact with music stuff. A bit stressed in the sense of whether I can deliver and if I fit in. I hope I can do the work well since this is in one way developing me professionally in 1 aspect.