not a good year for health

This year has not been very good for me in terms of health.
I've been falling sick like every 2-3 months. Don't know why. I never used to fall sick so easily. Even in school, I think I would only take mc once in a blue moon, if any.
So yes, I'm down with flu again and it's the 3rd or 4th time this year that I'm taking mc.

Maybe it's the air in office that's not very good or maybe I'm getting allergic to my work location (or work)! :P

random thoughts

I had a sudden recollection last night that "Heidi" was once my favourite story. Don't know why it suddenly popped into mind...I think I was thinking about sleepwalkers (also don't know why I suddenly thought of that).

Atlanta attachment thoughts (3)

I'm sort of feeling a little perplexed and a little restless (at work) since my return from Atlanta.
I tried to think of possible reasons of why I'm feeling restless:

1. I'm having a delayed jetlag issue. (which I think is unlikely since I'm able to sleep at night)


2. I haven't collected myself back to work yet...after all, it's been 2 weeks away, so I might still be trying to get oriented back to working, not to mention meet some deadlines.


3. I'm seeing more possibilities in terms of ethnomusicology.


4. I'm missing the folks in Atlanta.

I guess it could be item 2. But I think it's more 3, and maybe a little bit of 4 as well. I must admit my heart is still not back here yet.

The trip has made me really start rethinking my current situation in terms of my role at work. After this exposure to ethnomusicology, I'm sort of feeling I'm being called to do something more, or rather am faced with the possibility of a wider field. I began seeing myself doing research, maybe on the field or just on published/library resources and I have this desire to do so. I look forward to writing an article with my mentor on a topic we discussed about, if it ever comes to pass, or at least be his research assistant.

But really, maybe my frustration has become more apparent as a result of the appeal of ethnomusicology. Honestly, I don't even know what to tell people when people ask me what exactly I'm doing (as a librarian). I can't say I'm really a librarian in a sense as what I've been doing so far has not developed me as much in terms of librarianship skills. Things have reached a standstill and has become routine. Some minimal selection maybe, but there's no subject area to be specialised in for things I receive to do so. I'm more like a coordinator, administrator, and worst of all, the IT person of the dept (I like technology, but not when people see me as a "technician"...I'm supposed to be a librarian!). I don't see that much value-adding in terms of subject knowledge even after all these years, as in the 1st place, I was sort of "robbed" of the chance to do more practical collection development.
It is likely also because I haven't had the chance to do research enquiries, so I've not experienced that aspect of librarian work (which shows I'm getting bored!). It's a vicious cycle. I don't have the experience to do these enquiries, and am not in the line for that since I'm not at the "front", so I don't get to do it (nor do I think my boss will be very open to letting me do it with all the things she's assigning me to do). So I don't develop my subject knowledge and experience in this. *sigh*

Atlanta attachment thoughts (2)

I'm probably jet-lagged, so what best way to spend the time than to write on my attachment experience?

All in all, it has been a great experience, both the classes and the people.

Somehow, attending the classes has stirred in me a desire to learn more about ethnomusicology. It is most likely because I have a good mentor and the classes, though difficult, were interesting and thought-provoking. I realised too I've been really out-of-touch with school; the discursiveness and how different the system in U.S. works is far beyond me (or maybe it's just under the tutelage of my mentor). My mentor suggested that maybe I should take up a masters or PhD in ethnomusicology, but I doubt I can really catch up, what with the "destructive" nature on creativity caused by Singapore's education system (we're moulded differently), and not to mention I'll be bonded for 2 years from the day I end my professional development programme end Jan. I think age might be a factor too. I can't seem to absorb things as easily or remember things as well (not that I was any good at that in the first place). It's tempting though. A good thing is that we might/will be working together on some research, which would be exciting.
I feel like Legolas from "Lord of the Rings" - he had never felt the desire to leave his forest roots and take to the sea until he heard the sea, which was in fact foretold in his destiny.

It was even clearer now that my current job scope isn't developing me much and I'm not even doing much librarian things! In name I'm a librarian, but in truth I'm more like a coordinator. This trip caused me to blur my focus too - librarianship versus ethnomusicology...how do I combine both and not be too drawn away from what I set out to do - to be a music librarian? Maybe this was supposed to happen? Should I focus on ethnomusicology, or collecting on music per se? It will determine the path to take, even though I must admit that ethnomusicology studies is not really big in Singapore yet...our music development is still in it's early stage, and still so focused on Western classical music. This 矛盾 is not going to help me in my trip report though. It could prove daunting to scope it in such a way as to relate it to librarianship.

Another truth is that honestly, I think I'm missing Atlanta because I'm missing the closeness I had with my mentor's family. They were really great hosts and very nice people, who provided me with a home away from home (not to mention saving me from cockroaches!). It was heartwarming to spend my time with them, fellow Singaporeans, and even celebrating my birthday with me. Plus the attachment I've grown to have with his 3-year-old son. I can still hear him calling me "阿姨". Hope I can see him again this December (they're returning to Singapore for a visit), although I think the boy might have forgotten me by then, which is good for now, so that he will not miss me too much and cry. He's the sweetest thing. I really did feel the pang of missing the family when I took the flight home. So much so that I would love to go back again soon. I was saying that maybe I could do a "yearly pilgrimage". Haha... We even shared about our dream of a book cafe (which we realised a lot of people have) and I also shared on my dream about a Singapore Music Museum. From there we had further discussions on bigger things (and as my mentor said, since we're dreaming, we should dream bigger) and joked about how we would have an in-house accountant (me), lawyer (his wife) and I would say music instructor (him).
Guiltily, I didn't miss my actual family that much as a result. :P

Atlanta Day 12-14

We had planned a leisure day on Thursday (shifted work to Wed). After helping out with baking some mince pies, my mentor's wife & I went out to do shopping at the North Georgia Premium Outlet (again). This time it was really leisure browsing with no "targeted" purchases, but I did end up with 2 pairs of shoes for myself (a pair of Hush Pups heels for US$20 and a pair of Puma satin pumps for US$30), and 1 pair of shoes for my nephew. The evening ended with dinner at a Korean BBQ restaurant on me. There's a rather large Korean community in Atlanta, hence, one does not need to worry about the authenticity of Korean food there.

On Friday, it was a visit to the Martin Luther King Jr. National Historic Site, where one could see the historic neigbourhood of Dr. King where he grew up in, which was still undergoing some restoration work.

After that, it was lunch with the librarian, the academic services coordinator and my mentor, who wanted to celebrate my birthday with me. Talk about my initial thought of spending a lonely birthday. Haha...
It was at the campus French restaurant, which served food that's not bad, but the staff were slightly dao. After that, it was back "home". There was a Hindustani music concert that evening, so after a quick dinner of delicious spaghetti bolognaise prepared by my mentor's wife, we went for the concert. After the lectures, I can roughly know how to differentiate between the parts of the pieces. After the concert, it was back "home" again, and this time my mentor & his family celebrated my birthday with me with a sweet potato mousse cake from a bakery (Mozart) owned by Koreans. The cake tasted more like yam then sweet potato (which tasted good), but it was nice having them celebrate my birthday with me.

Then came Saturday which was the day I had to depart. Nothing much to say. It was raining heavily, just like inside me as I had to say goodbye to my good hosts.

Atlanta Day 11

The day started with playing the gamelan as an accompaniment while my mentor taught an instrument to 1 person. So I finally got to play the bonang.

After that, it was off to the library.

I got to tour MARBL (Manuscripts, Archives and Rare Books Library) of Emory. Following which I had an informal interview with the librarian, as I thought that would be more productive.

We had targeted to finish early today so that we could be on our way home earlier to beat the peak period traffic. Anyway, it had been a tiring 2 days before.

Atlanta Day 10

Another school day and it was again lessons from 2-9pm.

I had some time alone in the morning as my mentor had to go early for meetings, so I tried out a bit of the erhu, and practised the gamelan and drums.

In class, we covered Hindustani (North Indian) music today and I now know more about the parts of the music. This will help me understand/appreciate Friday's concert better.

It's more gamelan too and evening was the Korean drum and I seem to be getting a little more used to it.

A late dinner rounded up the day. Tired!

Atlanta Day 9

It's a new school week today and sat in on my mentor's students thesis discussion at 8 am.

Also, they finally changed my room for me and I should have no worries of cockroaches, although technically, I shifted to stay with my mentor's family for the rest of the trip. No worries of cockroaches and it feels good to have company. Also, I've grown attached to his son. But I'll still keep the room for daytime rest time in between classes.

I was tasked as a discussant today and my! I was kinda lost. Firstly, I seemed to have forgotten what the readings were about. And secondly, the other students' perspectives or analytical perceptions were different from mine. Well, it's a learning experience and I think I really need my brushing up on analysing readings.

Late afternoon/evening was West Javanese gamelan session again and I was glad I'm slowly getting the hang of it, although I don't think I'll be playing it anymore since I'm returning to Singapore soon.

Am waiting to help my mentor proofread the programme for their upcoming performance...he's writing it now.

atlanta Day 8

It's Sunday and 1st up was a trip to the Appalachian Mountains at North Georgia. I think it's the starting point of the Appalachian Trail, which I heard you can trek till you reach New York! It was a good morning walk with fresh air. We didn't get to reach the top of the falls by foot (but I think we were short by a few 100 metres) and ended up driving up there eventually.

After that, we made our way to Dahlonega for lunch. On the way, we happened to see a farmer's market where they were selling giant pumpkins! Being a "tourist", my mentor's family asked if I wanted to see it. So we stopped over and took some pics. After which we continued on our way to Dahlonega.

We arrived at a small quaint town centre which was like an old town. Reminded me of the same at Sonoma Valley in California. I ate a burger (of which I forgot the name) which tasted a bit like coney dog. After lunch, it was then a trip to the North Georgia Premium Outlets. :P

Yes, guiltily, I bought a new Coach bag, and a wallet for myself. Of course, I had to buy something for my mum & sis-in-law there as well. After that, I bought clothes for my nephew! Think I'm over-spoiling him with all the things I'm buying for him...and I haven't even got to see him yet! But it's really worthed it as Osh Kosh is so much cheaper here, plus Gap Kids, etc.

Atlanta Day 7

It's Saturday and I took the day to explore downtown Atlanta.

Took the subway (Marta) first to Arts Centre where I just walked past the High Museum of Art and Woodruff Arts Centre and made my way down to CNN. There was a guided tour through the studio. After CNN was World of Coca Cola. Well, I liked the ads recap screening room best and I actually went through all the 3 segments which took about 40 min. That was the end of my exploration as by that time, it was about 5pm. Anyway, as it is, nothing much touristy in Atlanta.

Atlanta attachment thoughts (1)

Gee...I discovered that I have to make some effort staying focused to my purpose.

My purpose should be to learn more about Asian music/ethnomusicology to be able to perform librarian duties better, rather than to be an ethnomusicologist, even though I doubt I'll be able to study to become one. But it's all too tempting to want to do the research.

Atlanta Day 6

It was a leisurely day today.

Popped over to the library for a tour of the AV collection and browsed the collections on ethnomusicology a little, attempting to search for some materials randomly.

After lunch, my mentor came to pick me up and we went over to buy some groceries, followed by a visit to his house. I bought some insecticide as another cockroach appeared in my room (3 so far, though they were half alive)! They always appear the day after the cleaner comes. Now at least I'm armed with a "weapon".

Anyway, at his place, besides playing with his son (who's so cute!), we made some plans for the weekend, and I'll be bunking in with his family tomorrow as it'll save some time for Sunday's activities. If they had to pick me from my room, it'll add another 1.5 hrs to the journey. At least I don't have to worry about cockroaches!

So tomorrow I'll get to do some sightseeing downtown and Sunday, to the mountains and some outlet shopping. :P

atlanta Day 5

It's the library today.

I wouldn't say I did much, but the librarian showed me their music databases and recommended some relevant bibliographic titles that could help in music research. I explored the databases on my own, and compared what they had with our own store of databases. I wondered why we didn't have Grove Music online. I always thought that was one of the basic databases we should get for music ever since they stopped the print version.

Also, I discovered that our databases cannot be viewed in Safari! Only on Firefox & IE. That's so strange.

I have shortlisted 1 of the titles that the librarian recommended that I should get for my personal use. It's not available in our library, so hopefully, it can be purchased in our bookstores. If not, I'll have to get it from amazon.

Atlanta Day 4

It was a light day today...no lessons.

I met my mentor for breakfast and we proceeded to the library to meet the librarian for a tour of the library. We toured, discussed my objectives and planned what we'll cover during my stint there.

Nothing much after that as after lunch, it was back to the room (where I checked a bit of email and attempted to do some work) as I waited to have dinner with my mentor. Visited this Chinese buffet place. Not too americanised.

I think I never mentioned much about dinners for the past few days. Well, have not been taking pictures as it would appear a bit weird to take pics of food in front of my mentor, so yah, just a recap, 1 night was dinner at a Szechuan restaurant with the family, Monday was pizza at this place called Everybody's, Tuesday no proper dinner except for a bagel I packed from breakfast as classes went straight through to 9pm.

Atlanta Day 3

It was a tiring but enriching day. I was a little overwhelmed yet there's so much to learn about music culture. Overwhelmed by the "culture shock" of how the lessons were taught, enriched by the new things to learn and how it really pushes one to think.

As a start for the day, I met up with the librarian of the music library for lunch as an informal meeting. Tomorrow morning would be a tour of the library before I am attached to her for Thurs & Friday. After that, it was classes straight from 2-9pm.

Today's first class was the module "Musical Transformation of Asia". It started out with singing Bengawan Solo, followed by the lecture titled "Musical, not Music": The Islamic Call to Prayer. What was different was that it started with us trying to "transcribe" what we heard, in terms of the musical structure. We could use any notations to denote how the length and pitches played out for the adhan and after which the significance of the structure and rules was explained. Not used to it at first, I couldn't notate (tried text), but then I finally figured trying with just dots & strokes. Didn't really get everything, but I got the gist of things. On a side note, my mentor explained that music theory was more than just the classical "beansprouts" that we learn, which is really just pertaining to 1 specific type of music theory. Anyway, we learnt about how important & impactful soundscapes were and learnt a bit more about Singapore's history as my mentor gave an example in Singapore's context.

After the lecture, it was gamelan lesson. It was Central Javanese, so it was a familiar structure.

2nd class for the day was a Freshman module. The lecture today was on Carnatic tradition (South Indian vocals) by a guest lecturer. It was tough! The structure is pretty complex and it was difficult to catch. Then it was gamelan session again.

the 3rd class was a 2-hr workshop on playing the Korean janggu drums. It was the first time I'm playing it and I found some difficulty coordinating both hands. You've really got to memorise the piece and can't concentrate too much on the playing or else you can't play it (with all the actions), but rather go with the "feel".

It was a tiring day. Tomorrow's more free & easy, starting with the tour of the library in the morning, and after that not sure what to do in the afternoon.

Wow, I really don't think I can survive if I took the course/major as it's really totally different the way things are here from Singapore's education system. And ethnomusicology is more or less an untouched domain in Singapore; what we term as ethnomusicology in Singapore is really much less in-depth.

Atlanta Day 2

Today officially starts my attachment to deepen my knowledge in music as well as music librarianship.

It was great! I attended a morning seminar on ethnomusicology, which was basically a discussion session based on readings given by the professor (my mentor). It was actually also the 1st lesson for the semester, so it was an introductory session to ethnomusicology (definitions). Good thing I covered a little of that in my NAFA module, so I wasn't that lost. But it was definitely more in-depth and interactive where we were to analyse & interpret the readings, giving our opinions on it. Of course, I didn't have time to read the readings beforehand. But it was a good session. It really fired up my interest and had me wondering on how my librarian work can actually work around this discipline. I don't think I can actually survive the whole module if I were to study it, but it did make me miss school a little. Look forward to next week's class! Here's a shot of the music dept at Emory University where I'm having my classes.

After the class, my mentor & I grabbed a quick bite and we went to look at a venue where his gamelan group will be performing in 3 weeks time. Following which, the evening was a session of gamelan playing. It's different from what I've done so far, which was Central Java gamelan, but this was West Java (Sudanese). The methods, beats and rules have changed and I admit I had a hard time following for some pieces. Trying to memorise & play at the same time.

So that marked the end of today. I'm fully convinced I chose the right mentor, who's really knowledgeable and a really nice person. His classes though taxing, are quite "fun" actually. Hopefully I am up to expectations.

Tomorrow will be a long day, with lessons from 2-9pm. Got to try to cover the readings for tomorrow first in the morning.

Landed in Atlanta.

Finally! I've arrived at Atlanta, Georgia, where I'm doing a 2-week attachment as part of my professional development programme.

Having touched down only at about 2.30 pm, I haven't really done much yet. Good thing my mentor came to pick me up from the airport and I had dinner with his family.

The flight was long & arduous, especially the 2nd leg after my transit in Tokyo. Had a window seat so I only got out once. And Northwest doesn't have individual screens for each passenger for the long haul!

Going through the security at the airport was a little confusing. After clearing immigration, claiming my baggage from the flight, and going through customs, passengers need to re-check in the bag and take a train to go to the terminal to collect it back. The whole process took about 1.5 hours. My mentor told me that it was pretty good time already.

Ok, getting a little sleepy. Shall see if I can actually go through some readings which my mentor gave to me today.

It's off to classes tomorrow!

(p.s. Atlanta time is 12 hours behind Singapore)