Seeking common vision: Love & calling

Well, my friends would know I've been single. However, I do hope to find the special someone someday (soon I hope). So I've been thinking about what kind of guy I would like. It's not a new topic and of course I have some "criteria" so to speak, but this post is not about listing my criteria. I'm thinking more of our future posting in the ministry of God.

These 2-3 years, God has revealed to me many things, and most importantly, I believe He has shown me my calling which is in line with the vision of my church.

So now it becomes a bit tricky. A few years ago, it might not have been an issue for me to leave my church if I found someone outside my church. However, since given this direction, my concern would be if my future partner will be willing to share this vision with me and to also serve alongside me, albeit in another way but in accordance with my church's direction...in short, I can't imagine leaving my church now and would he be willing to transfer to my church (if he is not from my church). It sounds selfish and I understand this could be a potential source of contention and some couples have taken the way of joining a brand new church altogether.

Sidetrack a bit, I now see a purpose and am glad that nothing came out of my feelings for a guy some years ago. His was a family church, so likely he won't leave his church and we do seem to share different values in terms of relationships, i.e. same faith. In any case, he is happily married and I wish him all the best. Thankfully, I'm over it and many other things have happened since (not in love matters) that I'm thankful of.

Looking back now, I realised that if not for what happened (it was not meant to be), I would not have had the journey I had that led to discovering this calling of mine.

So my difficulty now is finding the right man in the current scenario.  While I've yet to enter my calling, I would be in maybe a few years time. My dream is that we will build a Godly family and serve together in ministry as a family.

Being a Sunday School Teacher

How privileged we are that GOD has entrusted these precious little lives into our hands!
Hope we don't get too caught up in the carrying out of the duties and forget this.

Missing one like ages

Was just reflecting about having missed service last week and I find that whenever I have to miss service, whether because of travelling, work or some other thing, I find that I feel like I have been away a long time, even though I had only missed 1 session (well, technically 2 weeks away from the community). I guess it might be a good thing since it would mean that it's making a difference.

However, it might also lead to the effect of drawing you into a state of laziness if you're not careful, where you might develop a tendency of not attending church if you do not go in the subsequent week of the break. It is a trick of the devil and we must not forget the importance of attending church (not as a routine or ritual only) as Christians live in a community and there is a need for edification and instruction. Do not for one thing think that you can just study the bible on your own, but you need some revelation and affirmation, lest you tread the wrong path.

Well, what do you think?

Give the facts a fighting chance

Whichever way we might take it, this article in "Been Thinking About" by Mart De Haan might be relevant to the current election. Here's the link.

Pulling some highlights:

The point of Chris Mooney, the author, was to provide scientific evidence showing how our human capacity for self-deception works. It began quoting the Stanford researcher who said, “A man with a conviction is a hard man to change. Tell him you disagree and he turns away. Show him facts or figures and he questions your sources. Appeal to logic and he fails to see your point of view.”
The article goes on to cover a lot of highly debated political issues. But it ended saying, “Paradoxically, you don’t lead with the facts in order to convince. You lead with the values (i.e. of the person you want to persuade)– so as to give the facts a fighting chance.”

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Since we are so inclined to hear only what we want to hear when it comes to our deeply held convictions, the only answer is for an atmosphere of reciprocal criticism. In other words, our critics can sometimes help us more than our friends. Yet, according to the second article, criticism is most likely to be heard when the conversation is civil rather than marked by threatening accusations and characterizations.

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Leaving Timothy in the city of Ephesus to confront false teachers, Paul told him, “The servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, in meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; and that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will” (2Tim 2:24-26a).

Passover

The theme of the Last Supper seems especially strong, at least for me, for this year's Good Friday. Why do I feel this way? Because it's being brought up rather heavily at least twice.

Firstly, the Christian arts group, CLV, that I recently joined decided to carry out the Passover Feast this year for the April session. Although this observance had reference to Moses' time in the release of the slaves in Egypt, but it does not forget how Jesus was our Passover Lamb as well (we have been "passed over" from death by the covering of His blood). It was an exciting session coz it was the first time I ever did something like this (we tried to follow instructions as closely as we could). So each of the action and item in the 'menu' had some form of symbolism. Here's a summary of what goes on during something like this PASSOVER III – Haggadah for the Seder. An interesting experience. Just a note that we followed the Messianic Jewish interpretation, which was more relevant to our Christian faith.

And this year, for our TGIF home event (hosted in cellgroup setting), we were instructed to carry out the Lord's Supper (Holy Communion) during the event. It's a bit different from previous years as we normally run through a programme of sharing without the Lord's Supper, mainly because guests might feel awkward during it. But this year, part of the programme was to include it. The idea was to bring us back to how church was like in the past, and at the same time, pay attention to the significance of this act, which was to remember Jesus' sacrifice, which is essentially why we have Good Friday.

"And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you." ~ Luke 22:19-20

The guests should also know what and why we do this.

So Good Friday is here. Thank God for Good Friday.

Serving Faith

As I was saying earlier, I was beginning to have doubts/reservations about volunteering my services in church. You know, as things drag on, you start to think of the possible "obstructions" that might occur. Then last week, I finally received a follow-up call again from a pastor who asked me to go for an audition as I wanted to volunteer as worship leader for kids. I had missed the earlier orientation/audition due to my trip to China. I have to prepare 2 songs, one fast and one slow (worried about the fast). Well, I'm totally new to leading worship in this context and am worried about this and that. However, during service on Sunday, God sort of told me just go ahead and try and don't think so much. If it's time and it's meant to happen, He will make sure everything is cleared in due course. Somehow, I felt overwhelmed as I gave thanks, which seemed like a confirmation of the assurance. Now, to select the 2 songs.

And talking about faith, I know this sounds like some kind of blogging fever, but as a new year resolution, I have set up a new blog which I call my "Faithbook". It's actually an attempt to keep myself disciplined in reading the Word, and also for simple reflections and sharing, like a notebook. Well, I'm no pastor or theology expert, but I do pray for greater insight and wisdom. I'm still trying to get things organised and settled down, and to get into the pace of sharing. Hope this works out and people might share with me their insights as well.

Cat & Dog Theology

Read something funny on Been Thinking About. Quote:

"A friend gave me a smile the other day by reminding me that a dog says,
You pet me, you feed me, you shelter me, you love me, You must be God.
But,
A cat says: You pet me, you feed me, you shelter me, you love me, I must be God."

But it is also a reminder of how all of the provisions of God are not meant to turn us into little gods, but into grateful worshipers.

Tearing down boundaries

I attended a Christian songwriters fellowship session yesterday, which was more like a "meeting" of sorts. It was actually the 1st meetup and I didn't know what to expect (thought we would just meet and share songs and fellowship). It was a follow-up from the Bob Fitts workshop I attended some weeks ago. Basically, it was to form a group, similar to Songcraft, where Christian songwriters can come to a "safe" environment to share songs. 1 difference though is that it's a tie-up between CS Music, Integrity Media Asia and Oops! Asia, which means that they are looking to help develop songwriters in their craft and release albums for them, whether as solo artistes or in compilations. The session was held at The Barnyard Cafe, a cozy space in Chinatown (where the old 梦飞船 was, I think).

Anyway, the whole point of this post isn't about that.

During the session, someone mentioned of how we can come together to worship as one without boundaries of the different denominations. Somehow, something went on in my mind. Maybe I've not seen or experienced enough, but is it true that our generation is now moving towards tearing down all such boundaries and barriers? We see a whole group of people who don't really bother about these, but who are hungry for God; there are no boundaries since we're all worshiping the same God. Even in politics you see this generation becoming more vocal, asking for transparency, and interestingly, the government has been more or less opening up to these, as opposed to before. How things have changed with the generations. It's a world without walls. You can see that too by how the world has evolved, especially with the advent of technology.

Yet, a world without walls doesn't mean that it's all good. It also means that besides good stuff, bad things get propagated faster as well. Fortunately, we are also part of this generation, and I think it is even more important for us now to forget preconceived barriers and come together to build a better place, overcoming social ills. Come to think of it, it's really like a "shake-up". Is it all part of a bigger plan?

Worship Songwriting with Bob Fitts - Day 2

Day 2.
Phew, an "intensive" day yesterday as morning saw us going through some general guidelines on:
1) Creating Creativity (stoking & releasing the creative nature of God's gift in you)
2) Structural Principles predominant in effective songwriting

Of course, Bob emphasized these are just guidelines and our creativity is really unique to us and can't really be taught. Let the Spirit lead.

Then afternoon was the songwriting part where we were given some time to write a song/songs, whether individually or collaborate, and to share it/them at the end, if we're comfortable. Well, I attempted to collaborate, but in the end, it was a bit difficult as my group was a bit unsure how we should go. So we split up.
Wow, there were some really great songs shared by the people and we were all ministered to.
Unfortunately, the song I tried didn't work out, so I shared an old song 《牵引》, which has been my fave so far. Got someone to play the guitar for me.

It has been a great time and I was wishing it was longer (and not need to go back to work). There's so much more meaning in worship songwriting. Hmm...am wondering if I should focus on Chinese songs.

Worship Songwriting with Bob Fitts - Day 1

It was the 1st day and my! I could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit, gentle as it may be.

I think this is my first time attending a songwriting class. Coincidentally, I met my guitar instructor from Believer Music there.

Today's session was more like "discovery" as we touched on 2 topics - 1) understanding the uniqueness of your gift, and 2) setting the stage to release your gift. It was interactive as we were asked to share and ask questions or give comments, even as Bob went through his points.
Before we began each session (in between breaks), we would have short worship sessions and they were really good times as we broke into new songs during the "free worship" portions. Unfortunately, I've forgotten the tunes to what I sang, but I did jot down the words. Must remember to record them tomorrow.

Anyway, today's session spoke to me and I was constantly reminded of the profoundness of simplicity. That has been my motto or how I describe myself (see my header above - complexity in simplicity, simplicity in complexity)! And also, a prophecy given to me many years ago during a church retreat came back to me. One of the prophecies released to me was a worship anointing, and it would be that 'in mine is a simplicity'. Gee...I forget these prophecies sometimes, but thank God I have reminders (and the transcript).

Tomorrow will be more of the "technical" part and will probably do some "practical", i.e. write songs on the spot. *stressed* but am looking forward to it. :)

Just a side note...Bob Fitts looks really young; he looks like in his late 30s or about 40, but he's already 55. Ok, that's beside the point. But I've always felt that those who follow God closely always seem to look younger. Even my senior pastor is like that (my friend thought he was in his 30s but he's already 58). Must be all the joy and hope that they have in Jesus.

You Can Win and Have Success

These 6 weeks are meant to be special, or rather, specially themed cellgroup sessions that are focus on overcoming life's difficulties when you have Jesus. It's our church's 40 Days of Faith movement (I happen to be the facilitator for the first few sessions). Generally, it's not just about asking your friends to share in the good news, but it's also a time for us Christians to renew our faith, and build our faith. After all, we're all humans and experience our ups and downs in various aspects of our life, and all need that boost once in a while. We can trust to be overcomers when we put our faith in God.

Well, this week's theme (3rd session) is "You Can Win and Have Success" and it basically targets our work life (or school if you're a student). But I'm sure it can apply to all areas. The 3 key points (or blessings we can experience) are that with God and faith in Jesus, there will be sufficiency, satisfaction and success in our workplace (and all areas of our lives).

I was just thinking, without a God-focused take on our work, we will lack 1 or the other. Personally, I feel it's like an equation. When there is sufficiency, there is satisfaction; with sufficiency (believing God will provide all our needs and make us fruitful), we are contented. Hence, we can be satisfied. And when these 2 add together, we are successful. All 3 'S's will only exist together when we let God lead us. And only with His provision, will we have success. For unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain (Psalm 127). So trust in the Lord in the ways He provides for our jobs. He always has plans, not to harm us but to prosper us (Jeremiah 29:11).

On a personal note, I thank God for His provision. I've shared this a couple of times, that my job/career is one of the biggest area where I've seen God's provision. It's amazing how He led me here, right now, and I'm glad I can continue to give thanks for that, even as He continue to pave the way for me, wherever it may lead. I'm assured of the sufficiency I get from Him, from the open doors to the sufficient resources, and also how He guides my way throughout, even when it baffles me initially.
And all things worked out well eventually, just like how I didn't get the transfer I applied for because it wasn't the right time (anyway, it didn't feel right at that time), and He has put me in another (totally new) area to further develop me in my work. And I'm learning a lot more about the Singapore music scene (well, the "older" generation in fact, like xinyao) as a result. Well, music is one of my passions after all.
And I'm glad I'm contented, and thus satisfied with His provision, whether it's my pay (I always can't remember how much I actually earn, exactly) or the work He's given me, and the favour shown me. So yah, I think I'm pretty successful in my workplace. Why worry so much? Of course, it doesn't mean we laze around, but we just do what He's planned for us. And doing so will reap a good reward.

I've been asked whether I will work as a librarian "forever". After all, I've been here for almost 6 years now (time flies!). Or what I would do if I stopped being one. Honestly, I've never really thought about it (ok, maybe a little bit...since people asked) and my answer would be, I really don't know. Since God led me here, my next stop will be where He wants me to go and when He wants me to go. Hopefully I'll be ready and willing then, so He doesn't need to be too hard on me.

"My answer is Jesus Christ"

I was reading this excerpt in my devotional book, which has a reading for the day taken from How to Teach the Book of Hebrews by Yoon-Sung Park which I found amusing, yet revealing. I'm reproducing a portion of it here.

Sundar Singh, the Indian Christian missionary, used to be like the Apostle Paul, criticizing and persecuting Christianity. But after experiencing a conversion similiar to Paul's, he became a minister and poured all his energy into preaching the Gospel to Hindus.

Once, Sundar Singh was visiting England when a professor of theology asked him, "You converted from Hinduism to Christianity. What is something Hinduism lacks that Christianity has?" Singh's answer was simple. "That is Jesus Christ." The professor was unsatisfied with the answer and asked again. "Isn't there some kind of special teaching or doctrine that is clearly different from your former religion?" "No. There is no special teaching or doctrine. It was the Living Jesus Christ that converted me." However, the professor was still unsatisfied. "Mr Singh, I don't think my question is getting across to you. What I'm asking you is what thought or philosophy of Christianity was different from Hinduism that made you follow it so fervently?" To this, Sundar Singh gave the same answer, " That would be Jesus Christ."

One might think, that's because the professor was a theologian, but on second thought, it's actually very common. The amusing part was when the professor says "I don't think my question is getting across to you" when it's actually the other way around where the answer was not getting across to him. Don't we often ask something and when we don't get the answer we want or expect, keep questioning?

It is sometimes beyond human comprehension how simple the answer to our salvation is. There's no need for too much reasoning, just simple faith and belief. We often think too much of matters and question "Is that really (really) all we need?" or "You mean it's that simple?".

The Sacrifice of Praise by Lindsay Terry

As mentioned earlier, I've recently started reading this book "The Sacrifice of Praise: Stories Behind the Greatest Praise and Worship Songs of All Time" recently and I can't help but share my impressions of it.

It is actually a very simply written book documenting the stories behind each song...in fact, some sounded a bit "factual", if you know what I mean. However, as I read some of the stories, something stirred in my heart. I won't say it's a feeling of being "touched" by the stories, but just a gentle stirring and I was moved.
There, that's what I wanted to share. Oh, 1 other thing. A clear theme in the stories is that God-given songs needs to be shared.
Hopefully by the time I finish the book, I'll be inspired to write more worship songs.

Some songs covered include "I Worship You, Almighty God", "More Precious Than Silver", "God Will Make A Way", "As the Deer", "Shout to the Lord", and many more famous hymns and modern worship songs.

40 Days of Faith

It's that time of the year again when the churches in Singapore would launch into the 40-day fast period from 1 July to 9 August.
Well, I don't do the 40-day fast every year (the last one being 2 or 3 years back, which was very good), but this year, I was convicted once again to do something. However, I'm not really doing a food fast. I was instead, prompted to do this - no computer (or the like, e.g. iPod Touch) after 10 pm each night for these 40 days and use the time instead to pray and read.

You might think "you call that fasting?" but I am guilty of being only mildly successful at this. On a normal day, 10 pm is usually about the time I really settle down (except for days I'm out) and guess what? Sit down in front of the PC and surf Net or just fiddle around on my PC. I usually spend an average of 2 hours or more there, which I don't know what I do. Having "started" this abstinence, I sometimes overrun the time. Also, I discovered how addicted I am to the computer, especially FB. But I think I'm getting there. So if  don't reply my emails after 10pm at night, don't blame me.

Besides doing the devotional assigned, which incidentally is from the book I committed to study/read in the year I was last convicted to fast, i.e. 1 Corinthians (this has got to be my favourite book), I also try to read one of the many Christian books I have that I've yet to read. Currently, I'm reading "The Sacrifice of Praise: Stories Behind the Greatest Praise and Worship Songs of All Time". Hope I will finish at least 2 books by the end of these 40 days.
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Here's another 40 days of Faith I'm supposedly going to do. Our senior pastor has challenged each of us to lead a cell for 6 weeks, with pre-believers, starting August. Just some sharing on how your life can be transformed. No special obligation by the pre-believers but just letting them listen to some ways to turn their lives around. He gave a "strong" message at one of the services and I was "impressed" upon to sign up for it. Actually, what I was more pressured about was not the "strong" message by pastor, but at exactly how I can pull it off.

Up till now, I have no 头绪 on it. I had already decided that it will have to be a co-leading effort. But the how, when and where is to be determined. There's of course a briefing of the "how".
Good thing my team leaders (i.e. my cell leaders' leaders) gave us some options and yeah! there's one which is to let them assign. Really, I have no idea who will wish to lead a cell (with me)...it takes a step of faith (me got little faith so must co-lead lah). Well, see how things go.

I was just thinking about it as one of my cellgroup mates was commenting that senior pastor was getting too "harsh" in his messages these days, pushing us to do all these works. Well, actually he challenges us, but if we are not doing it with a willing heart, then he'd rather us not do it.
As I reflected, we have to see the heart and urgency behind all these, not just pastor, but God's heart and plan. Having gone to the briefing, it wasn't that tough to lead the group as all materials and messages have been prepared. The "leader" will actually be more like a facilitator. The difficult part is the invitation - who to invite and will they turn up?

What does your Father do?

Was reading this article on "Been Thinking About" and it struck me that gee...I've never really approached this aspect of our Heavenly Father this way before.

Quoting Mart:

If his (Jesus) father is now our father, and if the family business is now in our hands, I’ve been trying to think how we would answer the question, “What does your Father do?”

An interesting food for thought. What would your answer be?

A matter of choice

Often, we hear people say, "why does God let these (bad) things happen?"

I never really knew how to answer this because I really don't know the answer to that. What if I answer wrongly? What if I can't support my answer? I have never experienced what they experienced, so who am I to answer? And really, only God can answer this fully.

However, today, while reading a devotional, this was something that seem to shed some light to this question. I'm not sure, but well...

One reason could be that God gave us (man) freedom of choice. Even from the beginning, like Adam & Eve. And because of these choices, to each a path is wrought. And things happen because of the choices we make. Unfortunately though, some choices were made that led to situations that seem painful, but they mould us. Also, unfortunately, some were made by others which unwittingly/intentionally hurt us because we are all linked in 1 way or another.
However, if we seek the Lord, we will find our way out eventually. God tries to prompt us to get out of the situation which we or others have wrought for ourselves/us, but if we push Him away (by our own choice), He can't do anything until we are willing to let Him solve it.

Any thoughts?

Against the "striving" grain

My friend was reflecting on the phrase "lest too light winning make the prize light" from The Tempest; how people tend to treasure things more if they worked hard to get them.

It came upon me how irrational this might sound when it comes to our relationship with God. We cannot "earn" our salvation through the things we do, for He loves us regardless of what we do. In fact, it's the opposite, He worked for us by sending Jesus to save us even though we did not earn it. He gave it freely to us. Although this might support the phrase's rationale to a certain extent as God "worked hard" for it, but to Him, the prize wasn't "light" to begin with. He values and cherish us all the same.

Unless the LORD builds the house, 

its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain.

In vain you rise early

and stay up late,

toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to those he loves. 

(Psalm 127:1-2)

Conclusion? I believe the amount of hard work put in reveals that you do not in the first place think the prize is light, but treasure it, that's why you want to strive for it, i.e. you reveal how much you treasure something by the amount of work you put in. Seems like a chicken and egg issue again.

On a side note, would you call this too "easy" for us? Then in this case do we take God for granted?

book reprinted

On Sunday, Ps Cesar Castellanos, the founder of the G12 mission, of which our church shares the vision, was the preacher. There was an analogy he used which I thought would be interesting to share here.

An English translation of one of his books was published and they had printed 10,000 copies. However, someone discovered that there were some serious mistakes in the translation. As much as he wanted to salvage the 10,000 copies, the only way was to destroy all 10,000 copies and print copies from a version that had no mistakes/has been rectified, all because the original (proof) had errors.

Just as the original was tainted, so was Adam, the 1st man, when he sinned. Hence, those after him were also "tainted" and were set for destruction. So the only way to salvage the situation was to have one who had no sin (Jesus) to replace the original.

How Could I Live Without You

How could I live without You
How could I survive
Without Your love
Without Your touch
You're the One that heals me
And cleanses my heart
And sets me free

Now i come right before You
With my hands lifted up
With my heart humbly bowed
At Your work on the cross
As You hang there and die
You were paying the price
For my life, For my life

For Your love is higher than the heavens
Deeper than the seas
And all I want is You in my life
Noone else can satisfy my soul
Can make me feel this way
Only You Lord, only You

We sang this song at service today and it came upon me the how significant the meaning of "how could I live without You". It doesn't just mean total reliance on God, but it dawned on me that it's more than that; it's about Jesus' sacrifice. How could I live (eternal life) without His sacrifice?

Another step of faith

Recently, I took a step of faith by inserting my Christian name into my IC (it was the time to re-register). You might think it's nothing, but coming from a non-Christian background, it was a rather major decision. When the notification came, I took a long time contemplating because I was wary of my parents' reaction. (Also partly because I thought I needed a deed poll to add in the name, which wasn't so...I only needed my baptism cert.)

I thank God that after all these years, they have finally accepted that I'm a Christian. But I still had my concerns as amending my name would seem a big taboo. What will they say when they find out? But eventually, after 4 months of running it in my mind, I decided to insert my Christian name anyway as my commitment to God, of course with a prayer for favour. Good thing I got myself baptised before this need arose, which was my "first" major step of faith, so that I had this option. In case you were wondering, I did mention that I was going to get baptised (which was about 2 years ago), whether they accepted it or not (I wrote a long letter). But praise God that they treated me like an adult who can make my own decision, although they didn't really give their consent.

Of course, I haven't told them about this addition, but a recent notice to collect my IC arrived and I guess they would have seen the extra name there?