What's this?

Feeling educational. Guess what this is...



No, they are not rambutans....

Have caught the cold! Must have the sleeping with damp hair on Thursday night...Feeling terrible. got so much rush work to do & now like that...

pass it over

Have you ever wondered if judgement is a good or bad thing?

I guess, judgement is something that we need in order to size up options and make choices. In that sense, having a sense of judgement is positive. However, when judgement occurs in people-to-people interactions, I am not so sure.

I hate it when I am subject to the scrutiny of judgemental eyes of people. Although I would really like to tell myself to cast off their snooty glances and ignore them, believe me that it is an arduous task. It is akin to me fighting a losing battle against the world. Why is it though that I am so wary, so afraid to be judged? It could boil down to esteem, or the lack of it. It may sound weird, but it is true that I tremble in the face of judgement and this fear grows into an uglier thing called abhorrence. When I come to know that someone may pass a negative judgement on me, whether verbally or otherwise, it is by instinct that I guard myself against this wave of negativity and return it with equal if not more of the same. Yes, it is a vicious cycle, but it is something that arises instinctly, that which cannot be helped, and I venture, is a survival game.

Why am I throwing about such thoughts in my head? There are too many questions left unanswered; I don't have an inquisitive mind although question marks are aplenty. I don't seek answers, but instead hope for release and a sense of closure.

To those who have contributed towards making me feel this way, I know it is wrong of me to say something like this, but I wish unto them double what they have heaved onto me.

"Words Lost"

I attended a bookclub event on Thursday (subText - every 1st Thurs of each mth) which was quite informative. Think I'm getting into it now, after my regular bookclub was disbanded.
At subText, it's more on new titles and poetry, definitely with inclusion of local writers. Hey, it's a great way to know of new books & maybe get them at discounted rates, even autographed! :) Ok, here's a link you can try if you're interested.



Click to join subtextlist

Ok, here's what I really wanted to fill in here.

One of the poems shared was called "Words Lost" which is basically the poet's creation from the many times when he (& what writers experience) gets the inspiration during the middle of the night but was too lazy to jot it down, saying "will do it when I wake up". Of course, the inspired words are usually lost.

From this, I realised that I'm a more "music" person than a "literature" person...I experience, more often, the sudden inspiration of a tune rather than words. & I think it's more easily lost? For words, it's easy to jot down. But for music, my! I have to find a recorder (ok, I'm not THAT gifted to write down the notes straightaway)! Fortunately, I now have a digital recorder...hopefully there are batteries in them.

poésies I

Ok ok, one other reason for this 'niche' is for me to "publish" my "poetry". Don't think they're good enough for a book, but surely they're good enough for here, right?! Well, here's a more recent one I wrote.

Lovely, these dandelions
On meadows over yonder
Sweet wishes thy seeds burden
to a loner's heart it heartens
© 2005 KLF

trolley fright

I was nearly killed by a woman yesterday.

My family & I went to the airport to pick up my future sis-in-law (she went to Perth for her co. retreat...so good right?) and have just entered T1 via the carpark. We were approaching the travelator when this woman (don't know from which c'try...China, Korea, Taiwan?) with a cart load of luggage (think there were 2-3 luggage bags) came speeding down it. I think she didn't know how to use the airport trolley so she kept pressing down on the handle (which releases the brake) and she just followed the trolley down the travelator at breakneck speed. By this time, I was just about in front of the travelator & saw this strange woman about to crash into me with this trolley of luggage. Fortunately, I managed to jump out of the way just in time...or else you might not see me typing this already...Might have been paralysed or dead.

The worst thing was she was laughing all the way! Can you believe this woman? She should have been worried rather laughing away...like it was fun. I mean, she's not those young kids leh (think her husband & kids were behind her) and how can she be so irresponsible and disregard the safety to others?! She could have killed somebody with the trolley! (It was that fast & the trolley looked really heavy...probably that's why it was so fast). It's ok if she doesn't know how to use the trolley, but be serious about the situation. She didn't even apologise even after we stared at her. She just continued laughing & laughing (like in our face)...she must be mad/hysterical man. Her husband who was coming down the travelator properly said something but I didn't catch it or couldn't understand it. What an example to her kids man. Hope she doesn't kill anybody on the road if she drives.

Interlude 2

Ah...sweet fantasies...

"The life is a stage, almost a fantasy.
With intermezzos in between, where mystery lives reality.
How now to live, the fantasy within?
With music and the song
With drama and beyond
The stage is set for now,
To live life as should be.

The show must go on."

An interlude

Ok, here I am. The guest writer. :)

I like the title of this blog; sounds so mystical and whimsical. When I saw it, I kinda thought to myself... Yea, my life was almost a fantasy. Yes, until I was born into this world.

Don't we all dream of living in a fantasia where there is no pain and suffering, and no one to hurt us?

I don't think I can put the name of this tune to its melody; but I'm sure I will love it. Although I profess to be a goner when it comes to appreciating the arts and all it has to offer, it still gives me a certain solitude when I can lose myself in the music, the darkness of the stage, the chords of the orchestra. I'm blabbering.. Heh heh.

Okay! my first post for my very own blog!

Well, don't think it'll be very much updated by me though. Just to try it out (& post comments on other blogs!) as it's kinda hip now to do so.

The name of this blog is actually my fave piece of classical piano music. Wonder if I can add music clips to blogs...