Ambitious?

Ever since I became a librarian, I think I've become ambitious. In the past, when i was an accountant, I didn't feel the same. It was just a job then. Now, I see my future (at least for now) ahead, as a career.

I'm not ambitious in the "competitive" way. It's more driven by passion for the holistic meaning of what I do or can do. I have visions of bigger plans, how big my work areas can be and what can be done...the big picture (well, right now is it more like mine?). I have passion for the profession, and the cultural aspect of it all. With passion, there's vision. My brain ticks and envisions "how much more can be done for this area", the future possibilities, the long run effect & results, or even the creation of something bigger than the current state. And these are really meaningful work that will benefit our society in the long run, benefit Singapore in the long run.

My ambitions are also driven by negative forces. The lack of power to carry out the vision, to put the meaning & passion into reality, to bring it across. It is also driven by disappointment, at how some management personnel don't seem to see the meaning of it all, have no passion at all (they don't seem to buy into the mission/vision that is set by the Board & holistic impact) and doing things for the sake of doing it only and approaching things in the wrong way or totally miss the point. This really demoralises those who are passionate, till they lose that passion and become "in the system" coz they are disillusioned and convinced that life won't change for the better.

I still recall the earlier days when I was really supportive & passionate about the importance of what I'm doing, of being a librarian, doing something that's benefitting the nation. Now, seeing management being not really in the library field and are not really interested/passionate nor buy into the mission and holistic vision, and in some cases incompetent, it's hard to keep "passionate" for long due to all these discouragement. I struggling real hard to keep the passion up and I hope I stand long.

Ambitious? In a way, but is more for the power to do the right & meaningful thing in & for the organisation, for the nation.