Reflecting on 2006

It's a new year and before I forget, it's time to do some reflections on the year gone past. I should make it a point to do so every year, to see what has passed and find the meaning of it all, even as we move into a new year, the future.

As I was reflecting, it is necessary, I feel, to have a heart of thanksgiving to GOD, whether things were good or bad. Reflecting on moments past sometimes let you have some revelation which one might not have known at that point of time.

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Last year, was the year when I first travelled without my parents, when I travelled with my friend to Europe for a holiday. Yes, I seem pretty sheltered ain't I? Ok, it wasn't too bad & I didn't fall out with my friend (thank GOD!), except I would have visited more sights. Well, it's a first experience...a sampler. And I'm planning another trip (ok, more of tagging along) to Japan with my friend this year! Great for this autonomy even though I realised it's really a workout sometimes to travel on your own...nobody to "tong bang" some of your luggage with, to help with luggage coz everyone has to manage their own...hence I lost some weight then :). But now I'm more appreciative of having my parents with me for travelling, though I would want to train now to be able to handle on my own. After all, I will have a family of my own some day and may even bring my parents overseas when they're older.

I know over the year, you've heard me complain about my mgt, colleagues & work. Well, they are still so & frustrating, but there are also good colleagues around. Made new friends, foster more steady friendships with existing ones...those are the good things. It's a time for growing too, in a working environment, even though I'm still struggling to handle some stuff, but one learns to survive in the corporate world. Previously, I've only worked in a smaller company where things are different, though more stressful, but with less politics.
I know I complain about my workload too and how sometimes people still ask me things even if I'm not working on it already or am assigned work, although I do enjoy some. Even though I feel I am finding it hard to cope (trying my best), looking at things positively, I have been given responsibilities because they trust me with it and 看得起我 (haha...thick-skinned).
For all these, I think I'm becoming more patient of these matters. It's not about accepting that things might not change, but what's the point of getting worked up? Should leave it to GOD (I've found myself learning to pray more over work stuff). Especially towards my supervisor, I've discovered that over the year, I've learnt to be less frustrated with her, accepting what she's like and trying to see her better side, despite the many poor opinions I'd heard.
Think I've also learnt to be a little more ambitious and dream more of how big my areas of work can be, though it can be either a good or bad thing. Previously as an accountant, I only worried about balance sheets & statements, but now, I can see some holistic picture or dream about things...maybe because I'm interested in some of the things I do, related to the arts. The only thing which is part of the frustration is not being able to do more for the things I'm in charge of (especially those I'm passionate about) whether being not enough time or support.

I've also finally come to acknowledge that my 1st passion is music, although I've somehow knew it all along. Music inspires me, draws me, create my dreams, my calling, describes me. Unfortunately, it's hard to be inspired to compose when I'm bogged down with work. Literature is only 2nd, even though I'm in my current career. I still recall one of our pastors once prophesied that I had the gift of worship. Unfortunately, I have yet to fulfill it. One of my dreams is to write worship songs. Hope to do more about my music this year and take some time out to get inspired. To take up my instruments again, learn a new technique, etc. Ahh....miss the solitude.

I think that last year, was also the year when I got a little closer to my cellgroup. Although I feel we still don't clique, but guess I don't feel so alienated. Hope it's not a sign of indifference though.
Spiritually, I hope that I'm growing too. It seems a bit slow now, but I think I'm getting more courage from GOD. Thank GOD that He still answers my questions and prayers and to reveal His power & amazing ways to me. I pray that I will continue to grow this year and be blessed with perseverence and strength, and gain wisdom. Definitely to get baptised this year (I know it has dragged too long...because of my parents). Must get it done before it's too late.

Ok, that's all for now.