Am I pushy (at times?)

I was just reflecting on my attitude towards people and I think I might be a little fierce, pushy, maybe even to the point of rudeness at times, to some people, especially those that have yet to "buy me over".

Think 1 example is my current boss. Somehow, I find that it's very hard to get her to understand the situation (sorry, but I sometimes find her a bit blur and impractical). So I sometimes get so frustrated with her that I begin to be harsh in my tone or the way I talk to her, to the point like I'm retorting her or keep objecting her views. Of course, sometimes I would also not think very "straight" and speak a bit bluntly. I know I'm guilty of it and it's really bad coz it makes both of us look bad, especially if others are also in the discussion. Then you know lah, my voice sometimes a bit "loud" so it comes out worse and I'm not so good in verbal expression. Although I'm not the only one who feels frustrated about her, it's not an excuse to treat people badly, and it's bad testimony. I have to psycho myself to be nicer to her.

There are also times when I get carried away trying to get my point across and I become too agitated or defensive. Often, I feel guilty or regret at the way I tried to bring it across, but it's like too late and the damage is done. And I always worry if relations will be strained afterwards or if I looked really bad like too strongheaded/pushy (ok, this is a more selfish reason).

I'm usually a mellow person, but don't know why nowadays I'm like that. I find that since working (not sure if it's here), I've become "uglier" in a way, being skeptical, sometimes jaded, less even-tempered, etc. Normally, people who know me will know it takes quite a bit to "ruffle my feathers" so hmm...