Atlanta attachment thoughts (3)

I'm sort of feeling a little perplexed and a little restless (at work) since my return from Atlanta.
I tried to think of possible reasons of why I'm feeling restless:

1. I'm having a delayed jetlag issue. (which I think is unlikely since I'm able to sleep at night)


2. I haven't collected myself back to work yet...after all, it's been 2 weeks away, so I might still be trying to get oriented back to working, not to mention meet some deadlines.


3. I'm seeing more possibilities in terms of ethnomusicology.


4. I'm missing the folks in Atlanta.

I guess it could be item 2. But I think it's more 3, and maybe a little bit of 4 as well. I must admit my heart is still not back here yet.

The trip has made me really start rethinking my current situation in terms of my role at work. After this exposure to ethnomusicology, I'm sort of feeling I'm being called to do something more, or rather am faced with the possibility of a wider field. I began seeing myself doing research, maybe on the field or just on published/library resources and I have this desire to do so. I look forward to writing an article with my mentor on a topic we discussed about, if it ever comes to pass, or at least be his research assistant.

But really, maybe my frustration has become more apparent as a result of the appeal of ethnomusicology. Honestly, I don't even know what to tell people when people ask me what exactly I'm doing (as a librarian). I can't say I'm really a librarian in a sense as what I've been doing so far has not developed me as much in terms of librarianship skills. Things have reached a standstill and has become routine. Some minimal selection maybe, but there's no subject area to be specialised in for things I receive to do so. I'm more like a coordinator, administrator, and worst of all, the IT person of the dept (I like technology, but not when people see me as a "technician"...I'm supposed to be a librarian!). I don't see that much value-adding in terms of subject knowledge even after all these years, as in the 1st place, I was sort of "robbed" of the chance to do more practical collection development.
It is likely also because I haven't had the chance to do research enquiries, so I've not experienced that aspect of librarian work (which shows I'm getting bored!). It's a vicious cycle. I don't have the experience to do these enquiries, and am not in the line for that since I'm not at the "front", so I don't get to do it (nor do I think my boss will be very open to letting me do it with all the things she's assigning me to do). So I don't develop my subject knowledge and experience in this. *sigh*