Atlanta attachment thoughts (2)

I'm probably jet-lagged, so what best way to spend the time than to write on my attachment experience?

All in all, it has been a great experience, both the classes and the people.

Somehow, attending the classes has stirred in me a desire to learn more about ethnomusicology. It is most likely because I have a good mentor and the classes, though difficult, were interesting and thought-provoking. I realised too I've been really out-of-touch with school; the discursiveness and how different the system in U.S. works is far beyond me (or maybe it's just under the tutelage of my mentor). My mentor suggested that maybe I should take up a masters or PhD in ethnomusicology, but I doubt I can really catch up, what with the "destructive" nature on creativity caused by Singapore's education system (we're moulded differently), and not to mention I'll be bonded for 2 years from the day I end my professional development programme end Jan. I think age might be a factor too. I can't seem to absorb things as easily or remember things as well (not that I was any good at that in the first place). It's tempting though. A good thing is that we might/will be working together on some research, which would be exciting.
I feel like Legolas from "Lord of the Rings" - he had never felt the desire to leave his forest roots and take to the sea until he heard the sea, which was in fact foretold in his destiny.

It was even clearer now that my current job scope isn't developing me much and I'm not even doing much librarian things! In name I'm a librarian, but in truth I'm more like a coordinator. This trip caused me to blur my focus too - librarianship versus ethnomusicology...how do I combine both and not be too drawn away from what I set out to do - to be a music librarian? Maybe this was supposed to happen? Should I focus on ethnomusicology, or collecting on music per se? It will determine the path to take, even though I must admit that ethnomusicology studies is not really big in Singapore yet...our music development is still in it's early stage, and still so focused on Western classical music. This 矛盾 is not going to help me in my trip report though. It could prove daunting to scope it in such a way as to relate it to librarianship.

Another truth is that honestly, I think I'm missing Atlanta because I'm missing the closeness I had with my mentor's family. They were really great hosts and very nice people, who provided me with a home away from home (not to mention saving me from cockroaches!). It was heartwarming to spend my time with them, fellow Singaporeans, and even celebrating my birthday with me. Plus the attachment I've grown to have with his 3-year-old son. I can still hear him calling me "阿姨". Hope I can see him again this December (they're returning to Singapore for a visit), although I think the boy might have forgotten me by then, which is good for now, so that he will not miss me too much and cry. He's the sweetest thing. I really did feel the pang of missing the family when I took the flight home. So much so that I would love to go back again soon. I was saying that maybe I could do a "yearly pilgrimage". Haha... We even shared about our dream of a book cafe (which we realised a lot of people have) and I also shared on my dream about a Singapore Music Museum. From there we had further discussions on bigger things (and as my mentor said, since we're dreaming, we should dream bigger) and joked about how we would have an in-house accountant (me), lawyer (his wife) and I would say music instructor (him).
Guiltily, I didn't miss my actual family that much as a result. :P