Self . Spaces . Shut (Bear Fruit - Designing Leisure)

I won!

Still can't believe it, but I won! Never thought myself to be able to create a visual art piece (well, except maybe photography), not to mention winning a prize, coz I'm someone who can't draw at all - more of a lit & music person. And I did it on my own! Cutting the acrylic sheets, design, everything! It was fun & amazing too, being able to translate my idea into something solid. Did you know that I couldn't properly explain my concept when I first presented it to the provocateurs & participants? Few could get what I was trying to describe. Think it had to do with my verbal skills; I had it all in my head but didn't know how to express it explicitly. I even received a comment that it had turned out very well, especially when it came from the point where I couldn't draw it out at all to the physical thing.

Now I can talk more about the process and my idea after the actual presentation to the judges (previously couldn't organise my idea in a way to describe it properly). It might read a little long though...

Let's view some shots of my piece first...

Inner circumference:

Outer circumference:

It's a bit hard to see the effect from the photos so you need to experience it personally. It runs till 26 Apr 2007.

Basically, the theme is about solitude. The idea was to create personal spaces to depict solitude.

The whole process was very exciting, from my vague keywords to actually conceptualising it into something visible. Initially, I had many keywords and "envelop" was one of them. I was thinking of an "overwhelming" effect that surrounds you and in a way, solitude does that. At the prompting of 1 of the experts, I realised that I was actually looking at the use of spaces. When she said it, I was like, yes! That's really IT! Spaces!

So from there, I went along developing this idea - it was more of a one-track mind thing as my concept never really changed much over the whole process. As I moved along, many ideas of what effects I wanted to use came up. I thought of mirrors, creating illusions, soundscaping, etc. My 1st thought was actually making a booth to "enclose" the viewer, But then reality set in and I knew that with limited budget, I would not be able to make it. Also, it might not be that aesthetic. I thought of soundscaping like playing a note when people walked in to give them that "envelop" effect & prepare them for the experience. Eventually, it was scraped, mainly because of budget & technical difficulties. However, I was glad I didn't use it. It would have crowded out the effect (too much of a thing) and my display wouldn't be as thought-provoking. I think the sound would also have "disturbed" the solitude aspect which normally gives you that quietness, mentally or physically.

Following that, I knew that I wanted to use a see-through mirror and showcases. I had thought of using glass fish tanks at first for my showcases, to put miniature models in them. Then practicality set it. I couldn't really find the right size and as I thought about it, they would be too heavy (for me to carry around anyway, as I needed many) and expensive (our budget was $500). Eventually as I did some footwork, discovered acrylic sheets & I could use different textures & degree of translucency to create my piece, taking into consideration how and the amount of light that can get it, including certain faces which I did not want the viewer to look in.

Then, I had to resolve another problem. This was crucial as my project is dependent on the see-through mirror effect. I was not sure how to create it or if a material actually existed that could actually help me make it. I only recalled I saw some sort of packaging for hard disks last time that had that effect. I searched the art shop but they didn't have anything. So I thought I might have to improvise by using silver stain glass paint. However, the big breakthrough came when I was at Compass Point doing some other things. GOD knows why I decided to enter HomeFix to look for suitable material & there I found the perfect thing I needed...solar film! And it was adhesive! Just what I wanted. And they had different types like reflective or not, colours and even the amount of light that can get through. Imagine my elation. My idea is going to come into being!

Ok, more about the concept. As mentioned, my theme is solitude, and solitude is like being in your own personal space, where the experience surrounds you in the form of a space, physically or mentally, or both. To me, leisure is found in solitude, and it has something to do with being yourself and about yourself in your own time & space. So to bring this out, the layout/shape of the display actually “creates” a space and I have built spaces in showcases to depict places that one can find solitude. I have used miniature models and photographs that I’ve taken for this purpose. I have tried to keep the contents at a minimum like using solitary objects, as depending on the audience’s past experiences and perceptions of leisure or solitude, he/she can interpret each space differently. The minimalist approach also compounded on the idea of solitude. Of course, the things used were rather related to me - a bed, a cafe/pantry, a chapel, a bench in a park, a toilet bowl. Photos used were actually sceneries from my Europe trip that gave me the feeling of solitude and leisure. My father even commented (upon seeing the exhibit) that it felt like it was my room!

Initially, I had wanted to create a half-hexagonal shape, so I would have needed 6 showcases of models. However, I realised the space created for someone to view it would be too small, so I expanded to having a half-octagonal shape using 10 showcases (it's a 2-layered display). Then a problem came as to how I was going to make miniature models of 10 places, and I already had no ideas of what other places (I wanted things that were easy to make lah), so I thought of why not use photos? Hee...it was also a chance to show some of the photos that I had taken before that I felt were quite well-taken (I love to take sceneries). Then I thought, how do I create the see-through-the-box effect (will come to this later)? Then, the use of transparencies came about.

I also wanted a total see-through effect, not just into the box, but also beyond. This served a purpose, like a peep-hole. Let me give a description of the total effect I wanted to create.

At 1st glance from the inner circumference, you will see the mirror effect. This builds on the point that leisure and solitude is about you.
However, the “mirror” is actually translucent, where you can vaguely see through the mirrored surface and view the models or photographs. You can try to project yourself (with some imagination) into the scenario too. This is using the idea of reflection within oneself.
You can also vaguely see anyone who’s on the other side, like an insider looking at the outsider. This peeping effect works too from the outer circumference but there is a difference (for viewer to find out).
Hence, the display actually allows viewing from both sides, but you will discover there are different effects, experiences & even interpretations. Day-time & night-time viewings are also slightly different.
If you really reflect on it later, you might eventually realise that while viewing the exhibit, you have actually become part of the exhibit whether through seeing yourself in it or being seen in it. An "as one", blending-in effect.

So yes, this is my design. I had everything well planned, how to create the effect I wanted, the consideration of light, etc. After creating my props, then came one of my most 'down' part of the whole project - the set-up of the exhibition venue. We didn't know what the set-up would be like until only 2 days before, when we were actually able to see it. You could have seen my dejection when I saw the platform with the lights from underneath. The direction of the lighting totally destroyed the effect I wanted coz the mirrors would have been too reflective (can't see through)! Also, at night, the surroundings were too dark to be able to see my transparencies through the boxes (the venue was surrounded by glass windows). I was like, oh God, how am I going to create the effect I wanted? Then I started to try figuring out how to resolve these problems. How do I reduce the extensive mirror effect that I didn't want? The transparencies? I spent 2 sleepless nights on this. and I finally managed to do it. Thank GOD!

The reflectiveness part was easier. I used black felt to cover the light from the inner circumference to reduce the reflectiveness. Then came the problem of the transparencies. The light from the bottom didn't help much. I needed lighting from the outer circumference, but how? standing lamps? table lamps? I was thinking of the space constraint and the blending in with my exhibit, not to mention the possible safety hazard (if I used standing lamps). I actually borrowed someone's table lamp to try out if it worked and waited till nightfall to test it out. The light musn't be above the height of the showcase or else it wouldn't work. The question also was what kind of light? Thank GOD that I discovered that Ikea had a lamp that looked similar to my showcase which would blend in perfectly. And I rushed down to Ikea the night before the exhibition to purchase the lights.

I tell you, the next day was still a worrying day. Even though I had the lights, I still needed an extra long extension plug & other stuff. My mum told me that the maximum length on market seemed to be 5 metres. So on the day of the exhibition itself, I went in search of the 5m extension plug. I went to Courts first but they only had 3m. After that, I went to NTUC. I asked one of the staff there if they had 5m extension plugs. She said no, they only had 3m & 6m. Even better! 6m! I said I'll take that and can you believe it, it was the last piece hanging there! And also, it was fortunate too as 5m would have been too short (found out after I tried it out at the venue).

On my way walking from Bugis station to the venue, I was still worried. I really prayed to GOD that the lights would really help make my display work. After all, I have not actually used these specific lights to test out the effect. And eventually, all things fell into place & the desired effect was created. Phew!
Here's the write-up used for the display (which pretty much tries to sum up the concept & effect I was trying to create):

"Leisure is about finding and being yourself in your personal space. Places of solitude are represented by objects & scenes that give a solitary feel. The “mirror” reflects that it is about you, also projecting you into the scene. You see too as an insider looking at outsiders (or vice versa), blending in as it blends into you." 
I actually wrote another write-up, a more poetic one, but it was not used eventually...a little abstract lah.

"IN the mirror, you SEE yourself.
Find your space, your mind, your solitude.
Is this your personal space? Vaguely, outsiders pass by, maybe peeping in. But in your space, you peep out, at a distance from the comfort of your world, as one. "

So, what does Self • Spaces • Shut represent? "Self" is about yourself, solitude; "Spaces" is personal spaces; and "Shut" means away from the outside world.

Ok, now comes the comments of the judges. On presenting the prize to me, one of the judges said that they found my work profound, a very well thought-out piece. They could really see the effect of an oasis of personal space and solitude.
I think it was also partly the "mystery" of how I actually built the effect using the materials & what materials that let me win too. Not that all asked, but when I told them, they were like "really?"
Also, not forgetting GOD's help. I believe He helped a lot in giving me inspiration and the whole process of getting the materials. He knew that it was important to me, exploring the arty side of myself. That was why I chose to include a chapel and built it myself, placing it right in the centre of my display.

I guess I was happy not because I won (I didn't know there was a prize at the beginning), but I managed to do it & the satisfaction that I eventually got the effect I wanted. I wouldn't have won if not for the extra lighting coz the effect wouldn't have been created. I'm also happy that people actually liked it and enjoyed the experience.
This was such an enriching experience that I would do it all over again.

Back from Tokyo

Just came back from my long-awaited holiday...went to Japan with friends! Covered parts of Tokyo & Hakone. It wasn't enough...only 1 week! Not enough to cover all places, more Jap food & shopping!

I liked the place. Weather was comfortable, and I felt kind of at home there & safe even though there was a language barrier (fortunately, 1 of us knew Jap). Guess we're all Asians. Also, it was clean and the people were fairly polite, although half the time I don't know what they're saying. It was quite a different feeling from my Europe trip last year. People were not so friendly, and we were like "aliens" there. Think many know that Europe isn't as safe or clean too. It's also cheaper to go Japan. Guessed I ate more good food and things were cheaper in Japan than in Europe.

Yes, I must go again! Enjoyed the food and we literally walked the whole day from morning to night. The sakura were in full bloom in Tokyo and took many photos. Saw Mt Fuji from Hakone too though it was a little cloudy. Sorting out my photos still, but won't be for long. Am currently busy with my art installation which will be on display next week! Am excited & a bit nervous about it. In public leh. Hopefully I can finish it over the weekend. Will talk more about it after the launch where I'll have pics to show.

Ok, back to Japan. Am so tempted to go Hokkaido with colleagues end July now after this trip but it seems too frivolous. Normally don't do overseas holiday more than once a year. But that will be the season for lavender & sunflowers and it's a different place.

Mosaic Festival 2007 - Youn Sun Nah 5

My first Mosaic.

After I had read the various write-ups & done elimination (wanted to only go 1 this year as a try-out) and finally settled on this performance. Well, I read that she sang jazz, so I thought "should be quite safe". It turned out it was not the classic kind of jazz but contemporary (well, not sure which genre it was).

I didn't really like the earlier part, but the later half's songs/music were not too bad. I must admit that she uses her voice quite well, with various techniques & sounds made.
I was also quite amused by the pianist, not only did he played on the piano keyboard, he played directly on the strings! Making metallic rhythms and it was interesting.

It was an interesting performance & out of the ordinary for me. Think next year I'll try out electronic music.

Designing Leisure - Bear Fruit project (2)

The presentation was over on Thursday. My concept? The Envelop.
Honestly, I can't draw. So I used a mind map to present my idea in keywords. As it came out, I find myself presenting the concept quite badly (I'm quite bad at presenting verbally...nervous) & everyone was trying to figure out what I'm describing and visualise it. Well, the panel tried to help me a bit, like making me draw (which was a flop) and using paper to create a shape. They tried to prompt me in further developing my idea, sometimes to bring me to be more practical. 1 of them even tried to draw it out for me.
Really, by the time I finished my presentation, I thought "ok, everyone seems to be a bit clueless of what I'm talking about, so my design won't be taken up". However, it turned out that it was accepted, but I really need to fine-tune it to be more concrete to let people see what I really want to do. Of course, I will be getting a helper who can help me draw. Haha....Not bad eh?

After that, my brain started working again & I considered what materials to use and also incorporated some of the comments of the panel to enhance my design.

Yesterday, I was affirmed that the panel actually liked my idea though I couldn't draw it out. Hey! hopefully, they see what I see in my design concept even though I couldn't express it.

This is so exciting. I can do something out of my ordinary life.

The next session will be doing a mock-up of my design. Have to do some research of what materials to use & take into consideration the cost.

Singapore symphony

I attended a SSO concert tonight, featuring SINGAPORE. A Geopolitical Utopia by Vladimir Martynov, a symphony written by a Russian composer on Singapore (it was first performed in Moscow in 2005 at the opening of some Russian-Singapore relations event). It was rather high security with metal detectors/scanners as many high officials, ministers, ambassadors, including our MM Lee Kuan Yew and His Excellency President S R Nathan attending.

Ok, going into the performance...

It started quite different from the usual, with clapping! Everyone in the orchestra clapped & the choir launched into "Sin-ga-por", repeating the word. This lasted for some time.
As the symphony went on, it gave me the feeling of different cultures enveloping me and the effect was very "surround", very "Singapore"...with all the races coming together in harmony. Somehow, it felt like those National Day songs...nostalgia. It was full of Singapore flavours with some Malay-like music.

After the very Singapore 1st part, you can hear it changing into a hymn-like music...more European/Russian style. Following which there was music that sounded refreshing and like day break. Somehow, I imagined that it was describing Singapore moving from the "turbulent past" to a new beginning as a nation.

It moved into more classical style music then a bit of jazz and then you could distinctly hear Chinese-style tunes. Very well put together.

You could somehow sense the multi-faceted & versatile Singapore, vitality, as we move into the future. Multi-cultured.

It was very interesting and I liked the piece very much. Of course, a standing ovation was given. Yes, I believe the composer did a good job in depicting Singapore.

Designing Leisure - Bear Fruit project

Recently, I signed up for a Bear Fruit project (1 of many) where we are supposed to design an art installation around the theme "leisure".
It's rather interesting as people from different walks (design students, lecturers, producers, musicians, etc.) gather together to create something. Well, basically each of us is supposed to come up with a concept and eventually, a few designs will be selected and we will be broken up into groups to work on the selected designs.

The 1st session was an intro and site visits (2 places) to try to "inspire" us. Well, I wouldn't say the site visits actually inspired me coz I started forming ideas before we set out & the places are well... We ended up at Clarke Quay anyway at this place called Highlander (where the drinks menu was predominantly whiskey) and discussed our concepts. At that point of time, my idea was quite vague and abstract. I couldn't even explain it properly! Just some thoughts here & there. Amazingly, 1 of the experts (who are like advisory consultants) seem to get what I am saying and gave me some tips (she seemed to like my concept...hope I don't disappoint her with what I have). If she didn't prompt me about the use of "spaces", I think I wouldn't have my current more concrete idea.

Anyway, it was really fun & refreshing to get my creative juices going. It gives me headroom to think about something out of my daily going-ons, to create something. Somehow, I felt exhilarated and feel on-the-go for it, putting my mind into developing the idea my concretely. Although I think my design might probably be over-budget & over-sized, and also it might not express what I mean fully, it's a good & new experience.

This experience has inspired me to take more time to explore my creative side this year...a sort of new year resolution. You might see it as escapism, but it is also development.

Reflecting on 2006

It's a new year and before I forget, it's time to do some reflections on the year gone past. I should make it a point to do so every year, to see what has passed and find the meaning of it all, even as we move into a new year, the future.

As I was reflecting, it is necessary, I feel, to have a heart of thanksgiving to GOD, whether things were good or bad. Reflecting on moments past sometimes let you have some revelation which one might not have known at that point of time.

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Last year, was the year when I first travelled without my parents, when I travelled with my friend to Europe for a holiday. Yes, I seem pretty sheltered ain't I? Ok, it wasn't too bad & I didn't fall out with my friend (thank GOD!), except I would have visited more sights. Well, it's a first experience...a sampler. And I'm planning another trip (ok, more of tagging along) to Japan with my friend this year! Great for this autonomy even though I realised it's really a workout sometimes to travel on your own...nobody to "tong bang" some of your luggage with, to help with luggage coz everyone has to manage their own...hence I lost some weight then :). But now I'm more appreciative of having my parents with me for travelling, though I would want to train now to be able to handle on my own. After all, I will have a family of my own some day and may even bring my parents overseas when they're older.

I know over the year, you've heard me complain about my mgt, colleagues & work. Well, they are still so & frustrating, but there are also good colleagues around. Made new friends, foster more steady friendships with existing ones...those are the good things. It's a time for growing too, in a working environment, even though I'm still struggling to handle some stuff, but one learns to survive in the corporate world. Previously, I've only worked in a smaller company where things are different, though more stressful, but with less politics.
I know I complain about my workload too and how sometimes people still ask me things even if I'm not working on it already or am assigned work, although I do enjoy some. Even though I feel I am finding it hard to cope (trying my best), looking at things positively, I have been given responsibilities because they trust me with it and 看得起我 (haha...thick-skinned).
For all these, I think I'm becoming more patient of these matters. It's not about accepting that things might not change, but what's the point of getting worked up? Should leave it to GOD (I've found myself learning to pray more over work stuff). Especially towards my supervisor, I've discovered that over the year, I've learnt to be less frustrated with her, accepting what she's like and trying to see her better side, despite the many poor opinions I'd heard.
Think I've also learnt to be a little more ambitious and dream more of how big my areas of work can be, though it can be either a good or bad thing. Previously as an accountant, I only worried about balance sheets & statements, but now, I can see some holistic picture or dream about things...maybe because I'm interested in some of the things I do, related to the arts. The only thing which is part of the frustration is not being able to do more for the things I'm in charge of (especially those I'm passionate about) whether being not enough time or support.

I've also finally come to acknowledge that my 1st passion is music, although I've somehow knew it all along. Music inspires me, draws me, create my dreams, my calling, describes me. Unfortunately, it's hard to be inspired to compose when I'm bogged down with work. Literature is only 2nd, even though I'm in my current career. I still recall one of our pastors once prophesied that I had the gift of worship. Unfortunately, I have yet to fulfill it. One of my dreams is to write worship songs. Hope to do more about my music this year and take some time out to get inspired. To take up my instruments again, learn a new technique, etc. Ahh....miss the solitude.

I think that last year, was also the year when I got a little closer to my cellgroup. Although I feel we still don't clique, but guess I don't feel so alienated. Hope it's not a sign of indifference though.
Spiritually, I hope that I'm growing too. It seems a bit slow now, but I think I'm getting more courage from GOD. Thank GOD that He still answers my questions and prayers and to reveal His power & amazing ways to me. I pray that I will continue to grow this year and be blessed with perseverence and strength, and gain wisdom. Definitely to get baptised this year (I know it has dragged too long...because of my parents). Must get it done before it's too late.

Ok, that's all for now.

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Yesterday, my sis-in-law & I baked some cookies.


It looks pretty nice doesn't it? It tastes not too bad too, except that it was slightly too sweet....maybe we put too many choc chips! The recipe's pretty simple too. :)

Am I the narrow-minded one?

I am worried about a project which I've been involved in since I joined my org. You can call it my "baby" coz I've seen it hatched and I'm passionate about it (it's about arts in Singapore). I'm not an expert but it is really something meaningful for the public and the future. However, it's been a struggle trying to keep it afloat over these past 2 years even though we are in the 2nd phase now.

On Wednesday, there was a meeting and this project was mentioned...on whether it should be put as 1 of the "branding products" for the org or the components split up. My heart really dropped and was enraged when they said "split". It's like dissolving and killing the project. A question was posed of whether it is really a niche collection or there is anything like it already around. We argued that it is a collaboration with another org and funds has been awarded for it to be carried out. And it was really a very niche kind of collection as we are very selective and focus in developing the collection and site (the project is actually an online database).

...Just when I thought that the project is having an opportunity to shine, there comes this shock and some of the people at the meeting was demeaning it. Can't they see the intrinsic value of it and how big it can develop into? I can see it making the org look good if it goes through well and the sponsor will see the results and grant us more funds. I can see what it means to the community, the contributors and the nation as a whole. Do you know if it is done well, the arts scene & arts community can become linked with us and they would want to be so, thus we will have an even richer collection. It's visionary, at least to me. Are they really not interested in the arts or they know they are just not able to do it? Will all our efforts of trying to keep it alive, proposing the revamp of the website and pushing for it go to waste?

So, am I being selfish or narrow-minded just because it's my passion and it's sort of like my "baby"? Have I been too focused on this to see other bigger pictures? But I can see its potential and high level people had also noticed it and want to see it grow. Why can't the "enemies" see it or am I missing something there? Or simply because it doesn't meet their KPIs?

Fortunately, we still have some supporters and hope they will help to make it an enduring project.

Babel

I watched Babel just now. it's quite good, but as it is, it's a "thinking" movie. If you have watched Crash, it's a similar concept.

The show takes a dig at American politics and the big hula about terrorism. Not that we shouldn't be wary of terrorists but you see the bureacracy, the paranoia & of course, as I would like to contemplate, the egoism of the Americans. Well, why do they always think that people are after them (although it seems it's quite true...which is a different story)? Is it their ego? Is it their guilt? I don't have anything against Americans, but there are always black sheep and their culture (some). Of course, there are still good Americans, but I feel that's not the focus of the show.

When Cate Blanchett's character got shot, the American tourists travelling with her & Brad Pitt's character (her husband in the movie) were the 1st to jump to the conclusion that it was done by terrorists. It could have been an attempted robbery, a hunting accident, etc. They were paranoid or something. Of course, Brad Pitt's character was not that wonderful too. Understand the anxiety, but keeping the whole tour group stuck with him was rather inconsiderate too. Anyway, everything was all a misunderstanding. It was actually some shepherd boys testing out their new rifle (which was very reckless). But it blew up to be on international news as terrorism.

The way some of the tourists thought that the villagers were savages was terrible. In the end, ironically, these "simpler" folk were the most patient, understanding, sincere and truely human people in the whole affair.

All the politics going on in the "higher levels" shows how cold & inhumane the "up" people are. The urgency is to save the injured & up there they are bickering about if it was a terrorist attack? Can you imagine the American embassy actually stopped the ambulance due to political issues? And they wanted to send a helicopter but was not given airspace because the Moroccon govt didn't agree it was a terrorist attack? And people were dying? If it were a terrorist affair, I guess the whole bus would have blown up or something? Although it sounded valid, but what's the point if the person is already dying? Well, maybe one wouldn't think that much if one was caught like that, but we knew that it was actually a misunderstanding. Well, anyway, Brad's charcter was pissed off and he wasn't really bothered about if it was terrorism and politics. He just wanted to save his wife!
The scary thing is this could happen to anyone; this time though Cate's character survived, in real life, someone might have died already.

It's very sad that 1 of the shepherd boys died (who wasn't the one who shot Cate, but his brother). The police that were chasing them were also crazy at first, I guess with all pressure. However, eventually, it seems they finally realised that it was a misunderstanding but it was too late (while the Americans still thought it was terrorism). You could see the chief looking like he just woke up and thinking "what have we done" (with the dead boy).

Anyway, why is it called Babel? I know I should be able to find the answer somewhere, but I can't help relating it to the Tower of Babel in the Bible where GOD confused the language and dispersed people over the world. As you watch, you see all the different races or languages spoken - American English, Moroccon language, Mexican language, Japanese, sign language.
Is it something to do with the "confused language" that the misunderstanding arose, that they are so dispersed in cultures and perspectives? How the human race were so scattered? Or is it referring to the babbling of the politicians?

I think there are other issues to touch on from the show, but this is just my 1st feel/impression of the show.