Just this week, as I was chatting with some friends, they were rather surprised that after what one of them called it, 'my "traumatic" experience', I was still in close contact with the people who caused it, and not just that, they are my cell leaders. As I explained, it happened almost 10 years ago (makes me feel really old), so the hard feelings are long gone. I was even her 姐妹 for her wedding. The main issue then was I felt betrayed because she hid the truth while I stupidly confided in her. Yes, it was traumatic in the sense that our relationship was never the same again (but we're still good friends lah) and I learnt to be more careful with my trust in people and sharing.
I'm also quite surprised at how I dealt with it back then (I took time to reflect and then went to "谈判" with her rather calmly), and it was only by God's grace that I got over the whole thing, forgave and forgotten all that pain. Life goes on and God will provide the right things at the right time.
9 years ago
It is certainly a traumatic experience, as even though you never told me about it, I had read about it on one of your ancient blog posts.
ReplyDeleteThe good thing is that, as you say, "the hard feelings are long gone", and that you're now still good friends.
However, I wonder if it has made a permanent change in you in terms of making you much more guarded, reserved and fearful-of-commitment ever since that incident?
I think you would be the best judge of that. =)
yah, it was a very ancient blog post. I actually went to read it again and realised I have actually forgotten some of the details!
ReplyDeleteI guess it did make me more guarded and reserved, especially when it comes to sharing about myself, but I don't think I'm that fearful of commitment, because I know that once you get me committed/earn my trust, I will put my heart & soul into it, without wavering.