Designing Leisure - Bear Fruit project

Recently, I signed up for a Bear Fruit project (1 of many) where we are supposed to design an art installation around the theme "leisure".
It's rather interesting as people from different walks (design students, lecturers, producers, musicians, etc.) gather together to create something. Well, basically each of us is supposed to come up with a concept and eventually, a few designs will be selected and we will be broken up into groups to work on the selected designs.

The 1st session was an intro and site visits (2 places) to try to "inspire" us. Well, I wouldn't say the site visits actually inspired me coz I started forming ideas before we set out & the places are well... We ended up at Clarke Quay anyway at this place called Highlander (where the drinks menu was predominantly whiskey) and discussed our concepts. At that point of time, my idea was quite vague and abstract. I couldn't even explain it properly! Just some thoughts here & there. Amazingly, 1 of the experts (who are like advisory consultants) seem to get what I am saying and gave me some tips (she seemed to like my concept...hope I don't disappoint her with what I have). If she didn't prompt me about the use of "spaces", I think I wouldn't have my current more concrete idea.

Anyway, it was really fun & refreshing to get my creative juices going. It gives me headroom to think about something out of my daily going-ons, to create something. Somehow, I felt exhilarated and feel on-the-go for it, putting my mind into developing the idea my concretely. Although I think my design might probably be over-budget & over-sized, and also it might not express what I mean fully, it's a good & new experience.

This experience has inspired me to take more time to explore my creative side this year...a sort of new year resolution. You might see it as escapism, but it is also development.

Reflecting on 2006

It's a new year and before I forget, it's time to do some reflections on the year gone past. I should make it a point to do so every year, to see what has passed and find the meaning of it all, even as we move into a new year, the future.

As I was reflecting, it is necessary, I feel, to have a heart of thanksgiving to GOD, whether things were good or bad. Reflecting on moments past sometimes let you have some revelation which one might not have known at that point of time.

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Last year, was the year when I first travelled without my parents, when I travelled with my friend to Europe for a holiday. Yes, I seem pretty sheltered ain't I? Ok, it wasn't too bad & I didn't fall out with my friend (thank GOD!), except I would have visited more sights. Well, it's a first experience...a sampler. And I'm planning another trip (ok, more of tagging along) to Japan with my friend this year! Great for this autonomy even though I realised it's really a workout sometimes to travel on your own...nobody to "tong bang" some of your luggage with, to help with luggage coz everyone has to manage their own...hence I lost some weight then :). But now I'm more appreciative of having my parents with me for travelling, though I would want to train now to be able to handle on my own. After all, I will have a family of my own some day and may even bring my parents overseas when they're older.

I know over the year, you've heard me complain about my mgt, colleagues & work. Well, they are still so & frustrating, but there are also good colleagues around. Made new friends, foster more steady friendships with existing ones...those are the good things. It's a time for growing too, in a working environment, even though I'm still struggling to handle some stuff, but one learns to survive in the corporate world. Previously, I've only worked in a smaller company where things are different, though more stressful, but with less politics.
I know I complain about my workload too and how sometimes people still ask me things even if I'm not working on it already or am assigned work, although I do enjoy some. Even though I feel I am finding it hard to cope (trying my best), looking at things positively, I have been given responsibilities because they trust me with it and 看得起我 (haha...thick-skinned).
For all these, I think I'm becoming more patient of these matters. It's not about accepting that things might not change, but what's the point of getting worked up? Should leave it to GOD (I've found myself learning to pray more over work stuff). Especially towards my supervisor, I've discovered that over the year, I've learnt to be less frustrated with her, accepting what she's like and trying to see her better side, despite the many poor opinions I'd heard.
Think I've also learnt to be a little more ambitious and dream more of how big my areas of work can be, though it can be either a good or bad thing. Previously as an accountant, I only worried about balance sheets & statements, but now, I can see some holistic picture or dream about things...maybe because I'm interested in some of the things I do, related to the arts. The only thing which is part of the frustration is not being able to do more for the things I'm in charge of (especially those I'm passionate about) whether being not enough time or support.

I've also finally come to acknowledge that my 1st passion is music, although I've somehow knew it all along. Music inspires me, draws me, create my dreams, my calling, describes me. Unfortunately, it's hard to be inspired to compose when I'm bogged down with work. Literature is only 2nd, even though I'm in my current career. I still recall one of our pastors once prophesied that I had the gift of worship. Unfortunately, I have yet to fulfill it. One of my dreams is to write worship songs. Hope to do more about my music this year and take some time out to get inspired. To take up my instruments again, learn a new technique, etc. Ahh....miss the solitude.

I think that last year, was also the year when I got a little closer to my cellgroup. Although I feel we still don't clique, but guess I don't feel so alienated. Hope it's not a sign of indifference though.
Spiritually, I hope that I'm growing too. It seems a bit slow now, but I think I'm getting more courage from GOD. Thank GOD that He still answers my questions and prayers and to reveal His power & amazing ways to me. I pray that I will continue to grow this year and be blessed with perseverence and strength, and gain wisdom. Definitely to get baptised this year (I know it has dragged too long...because of my parents). Must get it done before it's too late.

Ok, that's all for now.

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Yesterday, my sis-in-law & I baked some cookies.


It looks pretty nice doesn't it? It tastes not too bad too, except that it was slightly too sweet....maybe we put too many choc chips! The recipe's pretty simple too. :)

Am I the narrow-minded one?

I am worried about a project which I've been involved in since I joined my org. You can call it my "baby" coz I've seen it hatched and I'm passionate about it (it's about arts in Singapore). I'm not an expert but it is really something meaningful for the public and the future. However, it's been a struggle trying to keep it afloat over these past 2 years even though we are in the 2nd phase now.

On Wednesday, there was a meeting and this project was mentioned...on whether it should be put as 1 of the "branding products" for the org or the components split up. My heart really dropped and was enraged when they said "split". It's like dissolving and killing the project. A question was posed of whether it is really a niche collection or there is anything like it already around. We argued that it is a collaboration with another org and funds has been awarded for it to be carried out. And it was really a very niche kind of collection as we are very selective and focus in developing the collection and site (the project is actually an online database).

...Just when I thought that the project is having an opportunity to shine, there comes this shock and some of the people at the meeting was demeaning it. Can't they see the intrinsic value of it and how big it can develop into? I can see it making the org look good if it goes through well and the sponsor will see the results and grant us more funds. I can see what it means to the community, the contributors and the nation as a whole. Do you know if it is done well, the arts scene & arts community can become linked with us and they would want to be so, thus we will have an even richer collection. It's visionary, at least to me. Are they really not interested in the arts or they know they are just not able to do it? Will all our efforts of trying to keep it alive, proposing the revamp of the website and pushing for it go to waste?

So, am I being selfish or narrow-minded just because it's my passion and it's sort of like my "baby"? Have I been too focused on this to see other bigger pictures? But I can see its potential and high level people had also noticed it and want to see it grow. Why can't the "enemies" see it or am I missing something there? Or simply because it doesn't meet their KPIs?

Fortunately, we still have some supporters and hope they will help to make it an enduring project.

Babel

I watched Babel just now. it's quite good, but as it is, it's a "thinking" movie. If you have watched Crash, it's a similar concept.

The show takes a dig at American politics and the big hula about terrorism. Not that we shouldn't be wary of terrorists but you see the bureacracy, the paranoia & of course, as I would like to contemplate, the egoism of the Americans. Well, why do they always think that people are after them (although it seems it's quite true...which is a different story)? Is it their ego? Is it their guilt? I don't have anything against Americans, but there are always black sheep and their culture (some). Of course, there are still good Americans, but I feel that's not the focus of the show.

When Cate Blanchett's character got shot, the American tourists travelling with her & Brad Pitt's character (her husband in the movie) were the 1st to jump to the conclusion that it was done by terrorists. It could have been an attempted robbery, a hunting accident, etc. They were paranoid or something. Of course, Brad Pitt's character was not that wonderful too. Understand the anxiety, but keeping the whole tour group stuck with him was rather inconsiderate too. Anyway, everything was all a misunderstanding. It was actually some shepherd boys testing out their new rifle (which was very reckless). But it blew up to be on international news as terrorism.

The way some of the tourists thought that the villagers were savages was terrible. In the end, ironically, these "simpler" folk were the most patient, understanding, sincere and truely human people in the whole affair.

All the politics going on in the "higher levels" shows how cold & inhumane the "up" people are. The urgency is to save the injured & up there they are bickering about if it was a terrorist attack? Can you imagine the American embassy actually stopped the ambulance due to political issues? And they wanted to send a helicopter but was not given airspace because the Moroccon govt didn't agree it was a terrorist attack? And people were dying? If it were a terrorist affair, I guess the whole bus would have blown up or something? Although it sounded valid, but what's the point if the person is already dying? Well, maybe one wouldn't think that much if one was caught like that, but we knew that it was actually a misunderstanding. Well, anyway, Brad's charcter was pissed off and he wasn't really bothered about if it was terrorism and politics. He just wanted to save his wife!
The scary thing is this could happen to anyone; this time though Cate's character survived, in real life, someone might have died already.

It's very sad that 1 of the shepherd boys died (who wasn't the one who shot Cate, but his brother). The police that were chasing them were also crazy at first, I guess with all pressure. However, eventually, it seems they finally realised that it was a misunderstanding but it was too late (while the Americans still thought it was terrorism). You could see the chief looking like he just woke up and thinking "what have we done" (with the dead boy).

Anyway, why is it called Babel? I know I should be able to find the answer somewhere, but I can't help relating it to the Tower of Babel in the Bible where GOD confused the language and dispersed people over the world. As you watch, you see all the different races or languages spoken - American English, Moroccon language, Mexican language, Japanese, sign language.
Is it something to do with the "confused language" that the misunderstanding arose, that they are so dispersed in cultures and perspectives? How the human race were so scattered? Or is it referring to the babbling of the politicians?

I think there are other issues to touch on from the show, but this is just my 1st feel/impression of the show.

Ambitious?

Ever since I became a librarian, I think I've become ambitious. In the past, when i was an accountant, I didn't feel the same. It was just a job then. Now, I see my future (at least for now) ahead, as a career.

I'm not ambitious in the "competitive" way. It's more driven by passion for the holistic meaning of what I do or can do. I have visions of bigger plans, how big my work areas can be and what can be done...the big picture (well, right now is it more like mine?). I have passion for the profession, and the cultural aspect of it all. With passion, there's vision. My brain ticks and envisions "how much more can be done for this area", the future possibilities, the long run effect & results, or even the creation of something bigger than the current state. And these are really meaningful work that will benefit our society in the long run, benefit Singapore in the long run.

My ambitions are also driven by negative forces. The lack of power to carry out the vision, to put the meaning & passion into reality, to bring it across. It is also driven by disappointment, at how some management personnel don't seem to see the meaning of it all, have no passion at all (they don't seem to buy into the mission/vision that is set by the Board & holistic impact) and doing things for the sake of doing it only and approaching things in the wrong way or totally miss the point. This really demoralises those who are passionate, till they lose that passion and become "in the system" coz they are disillusioned and convinced that life won't change for the better.

I still recall the earlier days when I was really supportive & passionate about the importance of what I'm doing, of being a librarian, doing something that's benefitting the nation. Now, seeing management being not really in the library field and are not really interested/passionate nor buy into the mission and holistic vision, and in some cases incompetent, it's hard to keep "passionate" for long due to all these discouragement. I struggling real hard to keep the passion up and I hope I stand long.

Ambitious? In a way, but is more for the power to do the right & meaningful thing in & for the organisation, for the nation.

One Last Dance 茶舞

Yesterday, I went to watch One Last Dance (茶舞)， a show starring Francis Ng.
It's a rather interesting show, especially how it was directed/filmed.

You start off with a sequence of events that tells a story. Well, as you watch, you don't really find anything special. However, as you reach a certain point, which seems to be the end of the story for that sequence, it is revealed that actually the sequence of events is reversed which depicts the real story & you get another storyline of what's happening. And that's the "wow" part.

Just as it says, it's like a jigsaw puzzle & it is at that turning point that somehow, something went on the brain and everything becomes clear & falls nicely into place, and the show becomes different, not not special anymore.

Also, the theme song is hauntingly fantastic...called Broken Orange.

"Directing Asia" talk by Francis Ng 吴镇宇

Attended an event organised by NLB under their Directing Asia series - "Crime: The Dark Side of Asian Cinema, A Talk by Francis Ng".
Of course, the main attraction was Francis Ng. Fortunately I registered for the event, or else I wouldn't have gotten in!

It was very educational, as he focused on HK cinema/films rather than on his soon-to-screen movie One Last Dance.

He talked about how he was the "disobedient" actor who dared to not do what the director said, but followed his instincts as a professional actor, using his skills to display and draw audience into the show. He also mentioned of the seeming redundancy of creating specific "image" (形象设计) using "art directors"...he cracked a joke about how art directors were created to "ark lei ge" director...if you know Cantonese you will get his joke.

He also joked about why he chose the movie line rather than TV. He said that in the past, people always called TV personalities 艺人 (yi ren) but movie stars, 明星 (ming xing). So he wanted to be a star, that's why he made movies. Of course, now they are all also called 演员 (actors) so it's not so bad now.

Sticking to the topic discussed, he mentioned that everybody has a dark side. Only when you have the dark side, then one can see the good side (light). It is a comparative thing (对比).

Also, there was discussion about how crime in HK cinema has evolved through the years. Though the context is still about the same, the characters have become more complex; in the past, the bad & good guys were quite distinct, but now, the characters have dual (or more) personalities.

A comparison between western & Asian cinema were made, the differing style & how Hollywood has now looked to Asia for inspiration for filmmaking. Also talked about 暴力艺术 (artistic violence) in movies.

Someone from the audience asked about why HK films are mainly about gangsters and if there will be any new changes. He responded that why HK produces so many gangster & comedy films is the same reason why Hindi (Bollywood) films always have singing & dancing (which raised a lot of laughter)!...it is their characteristic, or else who will want to watch?!

Someone also asked if he will film a gangster film in Singapore. Well, I think this person didn't read up enough, as One Last Dance was filmed in Singapore! Anyway, Francis Ng answered his question by saying Singapore was a tad too "clean" to film a gangster flick. He gave some examples of the people who came for the audition who didn't really fit.

About his dream role, Francis said he would love to play an orchestra conductor coz he is fascinated with the expression through hands and that he doesn't know music. It is something different. He said his manager gave him a weird look and said something like hah? 亏本生意.

Someone also asked him if he were to direct/produce a gangster flick, how would he do it? He said he would focus on the woman behind the gangster chief. He said that sometimes, when you 得罪a man, it's ok, but when you 得罪a woman, haha...big trouble. I guess hell hath no fury than a woman scorned. He said a woman is quite powerful and a woman can have a few (powerful) men, using her special abilities to make them do things for her.

He ended with the talk of how the dark side doesn't only exist in 黑社会. Sometimes those in seemingly "light" organisations are even darker.

There were so many things covered that I can't recall all at once, but will add on once I remember. Waiting for my friend to send me the photos to post here.

Restarting my fencing classes

Today, I restarted my fencing classes again. I was already falling into inertia, so it was a good jolt, as I did a "refresher" course. Believe it or not, I was the only adult taking classes! The rest were secondary school kids! My colleagues were not continuing (some only next year).

However, this time round I tried épée for the 1st time. This is different from foil; epee's target area is any part of the body. So I had to remember that I can poke anywhere, and must be quick & swift. The épée, descendant of the duelling sword is heavier than foil with a larger guard. Yes, got an injury on my fencing arm (won't "show it off" this time around). Will need to wear some bandage on my left arm next time for better protection.

On the whole, it was quite exhilarating! Though I need to build up my stamina 1st and train myself to be fitter. Need to train my thrusts too, so that I can hit target accurately.

Marley & Me

I've finally finished reading Marley & Me ~ "The heartwarming and unforgettable story of a family in the making and the wondrously neurotic dog who taught them what really matters in life".

This is a must read for all dog lovers! I learned a lot more about labradors. It takes a lot of responsibility. I didn't know dogs grey too when they get old!

The book records the life of Marley from the time of his "adoption" as a puppy till his death. You get to know this dog as he journeys with the writer & his family, from the time they were newly married to having kids, like a personal friend & you feel you're a part of the life of the dog, endearing him to you. You'll find yourself laughing & crying as you read along. I nearly choked on my tears as the book went into its last few chapters when Marley was reaching the end of life's journey.

Don't you just love dogs? Unfortunately, I don't own one.