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Sunday, March 07, 2010

easy to let go?

Strangely, I wonder why it seems easier to let go of career attachments. As earlier posted, I'm facing a major change and I'm still moping a bit, but am I really moping about it? I don't seem to feel much anymore. Am I already resigned to the fate and looking ahead, or am I numb? I hope to believe this is God molding me, and indeed, He's removing the resentment in me, even though I really don't feel anything, just dull, monotonous activities. Maybe it's lack of sleep. Hmm...I guess that's what "moping" is.
Why I say it seems easier to let go is that personally, so far, it's all been directed, by the Master Planner of course. From the time even before I joined the organisation till how my life in it has turned out, it's been directed. And the thing is, there is almost a certainty in what will happen, which I can't change. I've always asked for clear closed or opened doors for this aspect of my life and well, technically, you know there will come an end someday to whatever you've been doing. I guess even though one does get attached to it, the level of attachment is still breakable.

I can't say the same for affairs of the heart though. It is so much harder, maybe because there is that uncertainty (unless something happens), nor will there be someone on the outside who will clearly state the outcome. Also, the kind of attachment is harder to break as it really pulls at your heartstrings or deepest inner being because it involves another human being. Relationships between people...the pain is much deeper and lasts longer no matter how much you pray for it to end.

Although, I must admit that both feelings are different in type. Just some grousing.

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