In memory of...

How precious life is, how short it can be.

It is a time of grief for the family. He was not fully formed yet, but he had a heartbeat that struggled to stay alive, but in the end, he passed on quietly in his mother's womb. My dear nephew-that-would-have been. 16 weeks old. I can't imagine the pain my brother and sis-in-law is feeling, especially my sis-in-law who tried her best to keep the baby despite all odds. A life in her, a part of her taken away. The pains of a mother. 
I have not met him nor had the chance to see him, but I realised that I can't talk about it too, as I feel tears welling up. What more would the parents feel and even my mum who has seen the ultrasound when he was alive? 心疼.

Today they collected his body when my sis-in-law was discharged. Small it must have been. I wasn't there to see, and I probably can't bear to see. At least he will not be suffering anymore. No more struggling. Rest in peace dear boy. KCK/JCJ. You will be missed. - 姑姑

Weird Hitchhiker

I had a really strange encounter today.

As I stopped and waited at the traffic light round the corner of my house towards the main road, a woman came and knocked on my window (passenger side). I was taken by surprise and wary, but nonetheless, as it was still red light, I grabbed my bag in the seat (you'll never know) and wound the window down slightly to hear what she was saying.

And she actually asked me if I were driving towards Serangoon, Ang Mo Kio or even Thomson. Of course I said no! And wound up my window. It was the truth, but even if it weren't I would still say no. Seriously? Why would I let a stranger into my car, especially in this circumstance? Who knows what she would do? I may sound paranoid, but it was very weird, when the main road was just there, and she could have taken the bus or taxi. What if she whipped out a knife in the car or was some crazy woman? Her mannerism was a bit weird (ok, maybe I'm thinking too much), but IMH isn't that far from my house... And if she were trying to save money, sorry, no way. I didn't even know the person. Very weird.

I'm very selective in whom I give a ride to, especially after a bad experience.

I was glad my doors were locked. Who hitches a ride in Singapore?

Mosaic Music Fest 2013

Due to my school commitments, I only selected a few shows that I could make and fortunately, I felt that both were good choices, though I would have loved to catch more.

Acid House Kings (8 March, 10pm)

There's something about Swedish bands. I heard of this indie pop band from a friend and they were a fun group that had us dancing to their music with their tunes and lyrics. Songs featured included "Say Yes If You Love Me", "Sunday Morning", and "This Heart Is A Stone". Unfortunately, Julia Lannerheim had a bad throat that night and couldn't really sing, but she still went on, drinking a bottle of special mixture (枇杷膏 drink maybe?) in between songs. There were actually 2 sets that evening, but I heard our session was the more hyped show with a more lively audience. Yeah!

Anyway, in the midst of the show, I suddenly felt a sense of liberation. I felt like I had been missing out a lot these days (probably because of my studies) and very deprived of these chances of relaxing and soaking in arts. Ah, music is the best medicine and I miss basking in it.

World's End Girlfriend (16 March, 10pm)
This was a random choice. Maybe it's the name (or the publicity with it being the last few additions to the programme). Or I liked their Starry Starry Night album when I did some research, but I'm glad I chose this. It was quite different from Acid House Kings.

It was a pretty amazing experience. They started off slow, followed by a complex layering of music and tones. There was a gradual build up and before you knew it, they have drawn you into their music, just like that. How do I describe the effect? I was listening listening, and then I realised I became unwittingly "in" the music and it just encapsulates you, like in a universe of music. The music felt so much bigger than oneself, and I felt quite small in the music, like a drop of water in the sea (that's what I meant by being "in" the music).

It was also interesting observing the crowd. Everyone just stood there, enraptured in the moment, fixated on the band, almost like everyone was holding his/her breath. Maybe also it was almost a whole hour of non-stop playing, with the most a 2 or 3 few seconds break in between.

AND THEY NEVER SPOKE A WORD! Well, maybe if they did, it would have "broken the spell". The band just came out, played their music, bowed and went back in, without an encore. The audience hung around for a while, to see if they came out again, but no. They were an all-string band with 3 guitars, 1 cello and a violin, except 1 set of drums plus laptop; an interesting set-up for a band. Believe it or not, I was quite inspired to pick up my violin again after this performance.
And yes, the lead had long hair that he flipped from time to time.

Wreck-it Ralph or Fix-it Felix?

I seem to have some electromagnetic force going round me these days and it's been growing, like some super power.

Recently, since I moved to my new workplace it seems, I seem to be the one attracting glitches and system issues or some other thing related to electronics or gadgets. E.g. Cashcards get stuck in our e-kiosk, technical problems in set ups, etc. Last week was particularly freaky when the phone rang the moment I stepped into the manager's room, and even an alarm went off in the bus on my way home. Haha...there was one day even when 2 of my colleagues had problems with ATMs. We even joked that oh no! It's contagious! Well, the good thing is that I learned how to resolve most of them, but sometimes it just makes things inconvenient or delay service.

Strangely, I used to be the resolver where things start to work when I "touch" them. Some say I had the "magic touch". So am I Wreck-it Ralph now? But then, I learnt how to fix them, so maybe I'm Fix-It Felix too. Haha...

Ah well, the fun part is that me & my colleagues will joke about it and in fact, we each have some "super power" though weird ones that aren't really "heroic" but more like super powers gone wrong. Hahaha...

New Beginnings

It's the start of 2013.
While last year felt like the end of the world with the shaking up of a few areas in my life (hmm...coincidentally it was the Mayan end-of-the-world year, which obviously didn't happen), this year marks a new beginning (I hope) as I step into the unknown of a myriad of activities that will be taking up a lot of my time. Well, not really "unknown" but uncertainty, of whether I can handle the situations.

First up would of course be my studies, which starts tomorrow. I'm not the studying sort and why I'm taking a second masters is crazy, but by faith I take it on, despite having lost some steam since I first considered it. Hope my interest will be piqued once again when classes start. It's also a new life as I become a student again, after almost 10 years since my last degree. At least it's more convenient now since my school is in town and not all the way at NTU like before, where I had to rush down after work too.

Secondly, with my transfer in September, work life has been more dynamic than before. I also foresee more responsibilities that will be thrown upon me and as a result, to rise up (or if a fail, plunge down). I already see one project at the door, as it seems imminent that it'll be passed on to me as the current IC is leaving, unless her bosses decide against it. I'm also supporting my manager as we both try to manage the going-ons at work where things crop up to be settled every other day. Quite a few major events are also happening this year, so hope we can manage. I don't know if I can cope with all these work stuff along with my studies. Everything seems to be happening this year. Stressed.

With all these happenings, I'm also concerned if I can work on our theatre blog. Not just finding time to watch shows, but also to write the reviews. I guess I would need to rely more on my co-writer for a lot of the reviews this year.


Well, the year has just started, so I don't know what else there's in store. Keeping fingers crossed that I would pull through the year in one piece.

It's no fun telling me

A friend of mine recently commented that it's no fun telling me "breaking news" or gossip. We were having a group dinner and she did a drum roll kind of announcement of some rumour she heard. And as per my usual "cool" and collected look, I didn't respond as expected, i.e. surprised. She then asked me if I had already heard of the rumour, which I had not. So she exclaimed that it's no fun telling me these things as I always don't look surprised. Nevertheless, the kaypoh me still likes to hear all these. Haha! Maybe I should try to act surprised next time.

Anyway, it's not the first time something similar has been said to me by other people. There could be a few reasons.

1) slow reaction - I can be quite 慢半拍 at times.
2) it takes a lot to surprise me? or maybe the news has to be something that pushes a certain button in me.
3) and maybe, as you can tell by now, I analyse a lot, so maybe I respond in my mind to find plausible reasons for the piece of news first, and not respond with emotions, hence missing that momentary surprise factor.

Anyway, on another topic, wishy washiness by friends can be quite detrimental to the relationship at times. With all good intentions, they might think they're being kind or are avoiding facing the problem, or even worse, trying to have everything. It might be unconscious or they think they're doing the right thing or being "noble" (for want of a better word) . However, some things not addressed early will snowball into something much bigger that leads to frustration of the relationship and misunderstandings. Heard friends' stories and maybe my own. At times, you reach the point of not wanting to talk about it not because you don't care or take the blame upon yourself, but that you kind of have given up and become jaded, because somehow you feel that the other person will never realise their part in the whole affair or see your point of view.

My new iPod Touch (5th generation)

I finally bought my new iPod Touch!

Actually, I had planned to get it when the 5th gen range came out. When the 4th gen was released, it was too close to my 3rd gen iPod Touch, so I decided to wait till the next gen, which was released a couple of months ago with the iPhone I believe.

So here it is. :)

I bought the red version. I like red, and my past two iPods always had red covers to go with them, but this time, the body is made of a beautiful red aluminium. And I got it engraved! What's good also is that by buying the red version (which is only available via the Apple Store, and ships directly from the assembly factory in Suzhou), Apple donates a portion of the price to the Global Fund to fight AIDS in Africa. Can do charity at the same time! All their (Product) Red stuff serves that purpose.

Ok, what does this new iPod Touch have that my old one didn't?

1) bigger 4-inch screen - the screen has expanded (just like the iPhone 5)
2) Retina display
3) camera - now I can take photos, Facetime, etc. on my iPod Touch!
4) microphone - I can speak into it directly to record or call people via wi-fi. I used to need to use a separate earphones set with microphone.
5) slimmer & lighter
6) faster processor with A5 chip
7) Longer battery life

That's all for now...still discovering it.

Anyway, my older iPod Touch is starting to get a bit laggy and battery life is not as good as before. I know these sound like excuses to justify my purchase, but hey...
I guess I might relinquish my old iPod to my nephew for him to play games.

Oh, and to add on, I don't really like the new iTunes. It hangs whenever I try to use it to browse my songlist on my iPods! Maybe I have too many songs? But the transfer of songs seems super fast. It's like 1 sec 1 song for me to transfer songs from iTunes to the device.

Studying again!

I mentioned that I was going to apply for the MA in Arts & Cultural Management degree a few months ago. Well, I did and school starts in January!
I won't say I'm the studying kind coz I'm quite lazy and last minute when it comes to my studies, but I do believe this was a God-led decision. It's a long story. I could have backed out then as I was happy where I had moved to. But well, I was accepted into the course anyway, so I took it as a sign to continue with it, daunting as it is.

It's daunting in the sense that it requires a rather high level of commitment from me. I have classes 4 evenings a week! Nope, am not taking time off work; am still working full-time. And furthermore, I have recently been given heavier responsibilities with co-leading my team. Next year will also be a very busy year for the organisation with major events and I believe I'll be quite involved. Yikes!
Even though I do not have exams, the 1st semester alone has 8 assignments (2 per each of the 4 modules). I think the 2nd semester will be the same. Some readings have already been sent to us (think we have 10 in the class). I don't know what I've gotten myself into, but it's too late now! Hope I can cope.

Because of the packed schedule, I'm sad to say I will probably have to sacrifice a lot of show-catching, the first pinch being Mosaic Fest already. Hopefully there aren't too many acts I want to catch (no researching then!), although I had wanted to catch Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra, but it clashes with one of my classes. On top of this, I can only travel during school holidays. Not that I travel that often, but you know it feels kind of restrictive. Looks like I probably can't visit my friend in Canada during the 1-week term break coz it'll be too short a trip and I might have to submit some assignments in the week after, unless....But we'll see.

Another commitment would be financially. It's not a cheap course, costing $9K per semester, which comes up to about $27K for the course, with the last semester not even having classes (meant for us to work on our thesis)

Really need God's sustenance to keep me well next year.

Tis the season to be jolly...

Somehow, this Christmas felt rather more joyful for me, maybe as a contrast to last year.

Made some really good new friends and got to know some people better. Even though am meeting less of some friends due to travels and also my transfer, but it makes the meet-ups even more precious.

What I felt most joyful was the giving of gifts this year. Not that I wasn't happy giving gifts previously, but this time around, somehow I found great delight when my friends liked the gifts I gave, especially even more so when it was something they found useful or wanted (I like to give practical gifts that can be used, not just for display). You know how hit & miss Christmas gifts can be. Needs some observation and 心思.
Anyway, happy friends make a happy me. :)

The year comes to an end soon and I wish everyone a joyous season and a Happy New Year ahead.

Resolutions 2012 Year-End Review & 2013 resolutions

Time really flew by this year and it's already the year-end!

It's time to do a review and sad to say, given the 2 little resolutions I'd set, I didn't fulfill all!

1) Learn Japanese - well, this was kind of a "cheat" as I was rather sure I would sign up for it end of last year. Took 2 levels of conversational Japanese, but have not been practising since I stopped classes. :P Hopefully I'll find time to sort out my notes and do some revision.

2) Re-learn my violin - eh...didn't get down to doing this. Looks like I've got to postpone this to 2014 as I wouldn't have much time next year because of my studies.

And for 2013:

1) Pray on my way to work every morning - need to be more disciplined!

2) Finish a book - Need to catch up on those unfinished/untouched books I own.

3) Be less bossy - eh...need to shake off my nickname.