Decide to Love (or not)

What is love about? As senior pastor has put it (a couple of times), it is not a feeling/emotion but a decision. It's true. A feeling/emotion fades off and if that's the only thing sustaining a relationship, then it's the end. If love is just about a feeling/emotion, it would mean that couples split & come together only when they "feel" like it, and that's not what love is. Of course there are different types of love, like friendship love, parental love and even love for mankind (agape). What I'm focusing here now is on what we call "romantic" love, although all these come from decision.

As I see it, the theory is simple, once you decide to love, your heart is opened and you can see things about a person you have never noticed before and there is acceptance and love. Once you decide not to love a person anymore, all doors are closed and you reject everything about the person (ok, this is the extreme case). Or simply, if you decide not to feel a certain way, you let go of that "feeling" which burdens you. It's all about decisions. A decision to be more than friends, a decision to be friends, a decision to not be either, etc. And all these decisions make a relationship work or not. As pastor said, "make the decision to love your wife/husband" and abide by your promise. When one says "I don't feel that way about you anymore", it's just an excuse of saying that I have decided not to love you anymore.

Not that "feel" is wrong or we shouldn't feel. I know it usually starts that way. But more than that, do you decide to continue that "feeling"?

However, there are times when we need to make the decision to "not feel" a feeling for a person when you need to, i.e. letting go, and you realise that indeed, once you make that decision, you find that you take things easier and you can take a step back and reconsider and be able to move on. It'll put you back on "ground" and you can walk again. However, only you yourself can make that decision...and to keep to it, calling on God's help is pretty useful (I know sometimes humans have a weakness to dwell too long or turn back).